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Wife contacting me.

13 replies

Viking64 · 09/08/2017 13:05

My wife left 3 weeks ago after 30 years together.there's more to life I want to start enjoying myself,we've drifted apart.she said all of that.she moved it a rented room in the same house as a walking buddy who left his wife 6 months ago.she's got feelings for him she admits it and I could see this coming so no great shock.initially I was really upset but now whilst I'm still very much coming to terms and get choked occasionally I'm wife rang today just to see how i am I said I'm ok and when I asked if she was ok she said oh alright but in a tone of voice I know which means the opposite.she comes round to see my son when I'm out and he says she looks through the cupboards and sweeps the kitchen floor which annoys me as I'm houseproud and it doesn't need doing.petty I know but still irritates. I stopped short of asking what was she expecting it to be like and she was cold and callous before she left so why care how I am now.all a bit weird really.

OP posts:
dishwasher71 · 09/08/2017 13:23

Sorry to hear this Viking. It might take a while to get over this - after all, 30 years is a long time - so can you give yourself something to look forward to? Book a little holiday with your son? Doesn't have to be a long one, just a few days somewhere doing something that you both enjoy?

Viking64 · 09/08/2017 17:29

Yes it will but it will help if my wife stops calling it's only been a few times but its upsetting to hear her voice.not sure if she is happy as she thought she would be

OP posts:
rainbowlou · 09/08/2017 17:33

Maybe the grass wasn't greener after all?

I would ask her to only contact you regarding your son, it's going to be harder for you to move on if she is calling otherwise and it's upsetting you.

QueenLaBeefah · 09/08/2017 17:38

Maybe block her calls and set up an email address that is only for her to use and which you can check when you want to?

I think some people who leave a relationship get a kick out of thinking that their partner will not be able to cope without them.

PollytheDolly · 09/08/2017 17:52

Do you want her back?

Adviceplease360 · 09/08/2017 17:54

Ignore her, she probably doesn't want you to be okay.

Viking64 · 09/08/2017 18:59

When she called I said don't contact me and that upset me tbh but I had to say it.grass is seldom greener I think.she said sorry to my son today because he misses her as for having her back I would love to go back to how it was but what's stopping her going again and anyway I saw a side to her the last 3 months that left me cold she was going to do what she wanted and didn't care who got hurt .my son said it's liked she threw a hand grenade in the room shut the door and walked away.or perhaps I've read to much into it.

OP posts:
EggysMom · 09/08/2017 19:03

I think she's annoyed that you're obviously coping without her. She wanted you to go to pieces, and to beg her to come back.

Try to maintain some distance, keep the contact minimal except for your son's needs. She'll try emotion next.

Adviceplease360 · 09/08/2017 19:32

How old is your son

Viking64 · 09/08/2017 20:00

My son is 24 he's been great through all this and helped me when it all got a bit much.I tell him his mum loves him as much as I love him but he feels abandoned by her. I can't second guess her thinking as I don't really know her anymore.she said the house is more tidy now she's gone and asked my son if I'm keeping on top of the washing etc he said of course he is .we always split chores so it's not as if it's new to me anyway.

OP posts:
Adviceplease360 · 09/08/2017 20:24

Keep going, do not give her another chance. She is hoping you will struggle and let her back in.

Viking64 · 09/08/2017 20:42

I'm not even sure that's the reason when she left she really couldn't care less it seemed

OP posts:
Adviceplease360 · 09/08/2017 20:56

Focus on yourself and ignore her

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