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STBXH (under same roof) has a date

4 replies

PinkGlitter17 · 06/08/2017 15:29

This feels so icky and weird. How do I deal with it? Kids and I will be away, so I don't have to see him the next day or anything.

His room is an absolute revolting bomb site pigsty, he's a scruffy git, funny to think of him bringing anyone back here as he's been sleeping in that state for months now. I don't imagine he will be bringing her here anyway.

Oh fuck, I need to stop overthinking. Help me please!!

OP posts:
Mrscropley · 06/08/2017 15:33

Just remember that twat side of him won't be hidden forever. .

ImperialBlether · 06/08/2017 15:36

I'd get a lock on your own bedroom door just in case he decides to sleep with her there.

BossyBitch · 06/08/2017 15:43

Breathe in ... breathe out!

It takes some time to get used to the idea. I'll admit (and, yes, I do hang my head in shame at this demonstration of supreme emotional maturity on my part. Not.) that when XH was STBXH and living with me I may have gone on a few dates with men I didn't even fancy just because he was going on dates and I didn't want to be the one left sitting on the shelf. I also had minor meltdowns when he got married again and when he announced his wife's pregnancy.

There's such a lot of stuff involved on an emotional level. The him not deserving it, the 'why is it not me instead', the anger at an ex suddenly managing to be a half-decent partner when he was a shit husband in the past, all the things that upset you during the relationship coming back up again, andsoonandsoforth ...

The good news is: it really does get better. For me it's taken three years so far and I still do get upset about things he says or does. I know I'll have a couple of shit days when his baby is born some time in October. But by now I also know that I can cope, that the right 'answer' to the problem at hand is to vent and forget, and that the time I spend being upset is getting shorter with each new event.

There's no really good advice to give here except: remember why it didn't work out in the first place and know that this, too, shall pass. It really will.

CrazySituation · 08/08/2017 23:15

My wife is in theory still living in the FMH until it is sold. In reality she spends 2-3 nights per week with her new man. She tells me and the children she is spending the night at her mums. Going to her 'mums' usually necessitates a bath and a leg shave beforehand.

The youngest children are unaware but the oldest (19) knows but is in denial.
The other guy has abandoned his wife and kid to be with her.

We are divorcing but the callous disrespect shown both to me and our children is breathtaking, She plans to set up home with this man and our kids once our house is sold.

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