I really need some advice...
17 years ago I was a single mum of a 2 year old, had my own small 2 bed maisonette and job, no maintenance coming in but was scraping by.
Met a guy who seemed he might just be my knight in shining armour but was "a little bit down on his luck" however he assured me it was a temporary situation and things would be "so much better together".
To cut a long story short, he was and still is very fond of the pub and basically he moved in very quickly as he had nowhere else to go at that time, didn't have a penny to his name and I fell for the spin that "things would get better".
He got back to his self employed construction work but only ever really worked 50% of the time, I worked full time and ran round like a headless chicken doing 100% of all the domestic duties whilst he held court in the pub. He would give me "all his money" as he put it and I was responsible for managing all matters financial, so he might give me £500 one week but would have £30 cash back daily during the week for cigs, beer, travel fares, lunch etc. Then £50 per day on the weekends, so that's £250 he has had back in one week, then there might not be any work for a few weeks but her still want the "daily allowance" for cigs/pub etc. So do the maths, he was living free and had me giving him money! If I dared complain i would be told "shhh things will get better".
There were numerous rows over the years due to money, he would get extremely drunk, come home be verbally abusive, smash things in the house, claim to be so sorry the next day for his behaviour. Always blamed my ex because it made him so angry that the ex never paid maintenance and was ripping me off (like he wasn't!). He hated "living in the ex's house " even tho it was my home, always had been but.... and here comes the biggest regret of my life... "If we bought somewhere of our own everything would be fantastic for us".
Stupidly, I went along with this idea that "in our own house" he would stop drinking, the rows would stop, his erectile dysfunction would be cured (yeah you got it right, I wasn't even getting any bedroom action), he would work harder because he'd have a reason to. I wouldn't need to call the police anymore to stop the abuse. Yes, you've guessed it we bought a house, using my place as a deposit and 14 years on NOTHING CHANGED!
Over the years I have taken out an injunction to allow me peaceful occupation of my own home, had him arrested and charged with battery, he got probation.
Over the years the advice I've been given is "he is legally entitled to 50% of the property since his name is on it".
My issue is it will be over my dead body that I sell my home and give him 160,000 to waste in the pub and tobbaconist when he didn't bring a penny to the party at the outset, nor has he put anything substantial in, he rarely does any DIY or housework, my daughter hates him and had moved out because of him.
So..... I need to end this awful situation I'm living in now, where we co-exist in the same house (not bedrooms), to the outside world people think we are a normal functioning couple but that's far from the truth. The truth is he doesn't have the same energy to argue and fight, lately he has taken to home drinking and this week has got through about 150 units of alcohol, he has paid in £1200 into the house (to include food) since 1st April when it should be £200 per week. He refuses to leave, stating "things will get better". (That old chestnut once again)
Has anyone got any experience of a partner who legally owned 50% of a property but morally didn't and suggestions of how to get out of this without throwing good money after bad? Would a court be on my side given the background?
That was the short version, believe me I could make your hair curl with the full version!