C100 for relocating with dc 50 miles away

[RockPaperCut]

I had planned to move with dc, I had ex's agreement but he changed his mind at the 11th hour. I've applied for a C100 and a court date is scheduled in 4 weeks and I'm a little apprehensive, I don't know what to expect. Do carcass get involved with all cases? I'm fairly confident that I will be allowed to move and his actions will be seen as malicious. Anyone been through the same? How long from application to being granted approval?

What is the backstory to you moving? Is it really malicious that he's changed his mind? Maybe he doesn't want to be so far away from his kids? I don't know...would you be OK with him moving 50 miles away if he was the one with custody?

Be warned you will likely be ordered to facilitate the contact by doing all the travel at your own expense. .

My xh moved away and the deal is that he does all the travel, as he was the one who left the area.

I'm fairly confident that I will be allowed to move and his actions will be seen as malicious

I'm fairly certain they won't be seen as malicious, unless there is a big back story.

I also agree that as it is you that are moving, it will be you that is expected to travel for contact and bare the cost of doing so.

No one can say whether his actions were malicious, or how transport will work, without knowing the whole story, FFS. Decisions on who travels and who pays are not taken in a bosom-hoiking condemnation of a parent daring to move a comparatively short distance.

Whether CAFCASS are involved (beyond standard background checks) depends on whether a welfare issue is raised by the planned move. So there's no simple answer to your question.

The backstory...we both have no connection to where we are, no friends or family. We moved here from London, I hated it. I've wanted to move from the moment we moved out but he's doesnt. He's is moving in the same direction south, which means we will actually be about 40 miles apart. I petitioned and from the very start I made it clear that I intended to move. We mediated and we had agreed to it. He said he'd buy a property in the same town so as he can spend time with dc. He went to view schools of his own accord, with a view to making applications asap. I found a rental and paid for the relevant costs, 2 weeks prior to the move, my solicitors sent him a letter with a proposal for financial settlement which he didn't agree with. He wasn't livid so then reneged on the agreement to remove our eldest from her current school. And without that agreement, I cant move and remain jointly liable for the fees. If that's not malicious, I don't know what is! I lost hundreds of pounds and I then had to find another rental at very short notice.

I totally get it's me who is moving but he's not staying here either. I'd happily share the costs but to be expected to pay the full costs is a little unreasonable especially as I'm currently on working benefits and he's on 6 figures!

Oh I relate to this and maybe following you.

What is his current child contact arrangements and can they be continued with the move?

Hermonie, I hope you're not going through this too. It just seems so silly, a waste of both time and money. He's had 6 months to tell me that he was against the move only to pull this shit at the last minute. And my solicitor is advising that we can't really deal with the finance side of things until this relocation issue has been dealt with.

At the moment dc spend every 5 days with him, then 7 days with me over the summer. Well actually he's palming them off to whoever will have them whilst he continues to work very long hours, but there you go. Then it will be EOW, Saturday and Sunday in September.

He did have Tuesday and Thursday whilst we were living together, he would be home early at 6 to put them to bed but I'd rather we had clear boundaries from the start. I don't really want him in my house. So I'd offer Friday after school/ nursery to Monday dropping them back to school. Solves the issue of him regularly bringing them home late too.

What are you thinking will happen for handovers? If I were him I would not agree to getting them to school 50 miles away on a Monday morning - it would be practically difficult and presumably also make it impossible for him to get to work on time. Similarly Friday school pick ups might be difficult. Might it be worth thinking how you could sort this to remove one possible reason for him to object?

Well actually he's palming them off to whoever will have them whilst he continues to work very long hours, but there you go.

So you want him to stop work then?

Well he could maybe take some leave to spend with his kids?

Piglet, it's entirely up to him what he does with the dc during contact. However if he wants shared care which is what he is/was aiming for then clearly he needs to rethink his career. It's the whole reason why I ended up being a sahm, jeopardising my earning potential for years to come. Clearly I'm not going to continue to facilitate his career as he dips in and out whenever it suits him because the courts will quite rightly expect me to be financially self sufficient.

I can't say what will happen on handovers. If he plans to move to the same town, then as he said he would, then it wouldn't be an issue. The school provides excellent wrap around care, he could potentially drop off at 7.30, collect at 6.

I don't feel this is about contact with dc. As far as I see it is it's just another control tactic.

Op I'm sorry to say it but I feel from what you have said that you are the one who is being quite controlling in this situation. He has to move to the same town in order for this not to be an issue. But you are the one moving in the first place?

Presumably you both agreed to you being a SAHM? I'm not saying you didn't sacrifice anything but I'm not sure how you expect him to support himself and his kids without a career either. Does he pay child maintenance, based on his earnings? Him earning less would have an economic impact on your kids.

But now that you are the one moving he's basically got to tow the line and be the one to make it work?

Show, with all due respect, you have absolutely no idea of my personal circumstances, none whatsoever. And your assertion that I am being controlling is incredibly triggering. I doubt you've ever been in a position where you've had every minute part of your life constantly scrutinised and controlled. I would come from the supermarket to have him trawling through the receipts checking spends whilst he got free reign to do as he wished, incidents where I would go to the supermarket and be unable to pay for food, I'd have to call him from the checkout to transfer some money into my account, my car being checked daily for any signs of damage, putting spends on credit cards as I had no access to money, having to buy our 6 month old a used cot as he'd not got round to sorting one out, moving to our current location was a decision that I wasn't party to, made whilst I had horrific PND. And the decision to continue living here again seems like is out of my hands.

We are both moving! He is moving back to London supposedly this month. We have no friends, no family here, absolutely zero support. If you note my moving would actually mean that we would be the same distance, if not closer from him just in another location.

I find it incredible that he gets to resume his life like nothing has happened, yet i potentially will be prevented from moving on. I'm anycase, It's not about me...it's about the needs of the children. And I firmly believe that moving the children to a location closer to my family and source of support, better job prospects but still within a similar distance to my ex would be beneficial for all of us.