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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Should I stay or should I go?

3 replies

Crazydaze77 · 14/07/2017 18:18

Been divorced for the past 4 years. Working in another country away from my kids. It's a long story so I'll just get to the mist of the situation. My ex moved to where I live a year ago and forced her and the kids and her mom and her brother on me. Living here I have taken the burden of the financials. I have always paid support. The thing is. We all live together because I cannot afford support school medical ins and a separate place for me to live. I have noticed that although I live here I am mostly invisible. Not to my kids but to all of them. I don't get the opportunity to raise my kids with my values. They tend to differ a bit from my ex's ideas. I cannot
Live like this. It's real hard to just sit
On the sidelines and be treated like nothing. The only thing I can come up with is to go to my home country with an open invite
To the boys to visit me. I can't stay in this county and live with these people. Like I said it's been a year.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 18/07/2017 21:31

Your ex mother & brother in law live with you?! How did that happen?! Give them a deadline and say they need to leave your property.

gizmocat1 · 30/07/2017 20:39

Dear friends,

Please advise, if you can?
I'm married for 15 years to a man 20 years older than me ( he's now 65 and I'm 44). We have an adopted son (9).

There are a number of factors that worry me with our relationship. Essentially I know I should ask for a divorce but I'm scared.

How hubby will take the news?
Splitting the house?
How it affects my son?
Can I afford to be on my own?

I've always been doubtful of our relationship, certainly for the last 11 years but I just plod on day to day, living a day at a time, busy myself with my son and work, which makes things more tolerable, I'm just existing but I don't want to carry on living like this forever.

Surely my hubby can't be happy either but he never says anything. I wonder why he doesn't question why there's no affection between us?

The age gap is becoming more of a factor the older we get. There is no sexual chemistry, i like him but don't fancy him anymore. I can't remember when we last had sex and I'd like to be in an affectionate relationship. He's not a bad man and looks after the house as he's now retired. We argue a lot, mainly instigated by me as I'm so unhappy. I feel subconsciously if I cause a rift maybe he will end things.

I wonder if it's better for our son if we stay together or split. As he's adopted he's had an uncertain life and he hates change. Will he get used to things if we split? But then again, being exposed to parents who don't display affection and argue isn't good either.

im also how husband will take my news and how family will take it ( including his older children in their 30's). But do I put up with a life that makes me sad???

I know there's a lot here.
Sorry to burden everyone. Feeling lost right now.

gizmocat1 · 30/07/2017 20:41

Sorry, I think I've added to someone's post in error, sorry to original postee

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