Hi,
I just need somewhere to vent really I feel so low today.
We've been separated since January but on and off up until a few weeks ago. Well, barely on to be honest. He has been saying we still have something between us and doesn't know whether he wants to permanently split. He has been staying on and off at my house and when I moved he helped and was speaking as if it was his too. He was involved with someone else while we have been split up but she lives far away so that has fizzled out. He's never fully committed to making things right. He's started a new job (police) and i assume he's met someone because his attitude has changed and is now saying the only option is divorce as he doesn't see things getting better between us. He cheated on me so he said if I want i could file for divorce otherwise we will just go for the 2 year separation thing. But I just don't want either. He left me before I found out he'd cheated and has basically fallen out of love with me. He said he can't live with himself for the cheating but doesn't want to make it right. He said he's been unhappy for most of our marriage. Which I find hard to believe. I think hes just trying to offload his guilt. I'm starting counselling next week which I think might help with my self esteem.
It's just we get on so well when we see each other. But I think that's only when I'm going along with everything he wants. Divorce just seems so extreme and final.