At a crossroads

[user1497455653]

I'm at a stage in my relationship where I'm wondering when the cut off point is?

When do you keep on trying and putting effort in and when do you realise enough is enough?

My wife is leaving next week after 30 years together. She has got someone else but when all is said and done we should have parted years ago . people stay together through fear of the unknown more than love for each other when it gets to where you are now.I have been in a bad place but now it's coming to an end I know we will both be better in the end.think of the positives and negatives of staying together that will help you decide. Good luck

I think many couples go to the brink of divorce and pull back several times before going ahead.

I would say if you have had a fundamentally good marriage it's worth working at it.If there is any abuse then leave.

If you can talk to your partner or are open to counselling then do it.Divorce is awful to go through but is the only solution for some marriages.

I agree with Hermonie - as someone (hopefully) getting to the final part of an acrimonious divorce process (after a year), I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

However, I have never had any regrets and would go through the experience all over again, rather than stay in my marriage. As I keep saying, marriage is not a life sentence.

One if the

Oops...

One of the main reasons I have no regret, is that I gave it a good shot - went through intensive couples counselling, was clear about what I needed and was no longer ready to compromise on etc.

I'd recommend doing the same - put some work into working things out, get some help etc....and if all else fails, brace yourself for divorce. My hope is that yours wouldn't be too painful. Good luck x

Thanks everyone.

It's tough because it's like there are two sides to him which in turn, creates two very different relationships (he is not suffering from mental health issues it's just the way I have worded it)

We are either very good together, very loved up, full of compromise, sympathetic and empathetic towards one another with a great love life or we are bickering, hostile, abusive and at best, not talking.

If the good bits weren't so good and we didn't have such a lovely family and life built together over 9 years I would of walked a long time ago.

When it's bad I know I would be happier alone but when it's good I know I couldn't love anyone more than I love him and he makes me feel loved and most of all, respected.