Dear friends,
Can you please advise?
I have been with my husband for 18 years. We have a son now 9.
My husband is considerably older than me (nearly 21 years). It seems the more time passes the more the age gap matters. I've never been certain about our relationship but I guess fear of upsetting him and/ or the family has kept us together and fear of being on my own.
We seem to just plod along with day to day life. I feel there is nothing between us other than friendship and to be honest I don't think our relationship is repairable. We don't have sex anymore and there's no affection. I have no sex drive now, which I feel isn't really normal when I'm only 44 now... is this how life should be .. just want to do the right thing.
My dilemma is, mainly, is it best to stay in a relationship solely for your child? Our son is adopted and has some insecurities as do all children. He loves our house and the stability he has. Will it damage him if we leave or is it more damaging to stay together in a relationship that is quite toxic. Are we showing him that a relationship with no affection is normal?
Deep down I feel we should split up but I'd have to get my husband to sell our house and split it equally but I know my husband will be horrible about it and most of the house was his investment but I can't afford a split any other way.
What do I do?
I'd like to be in a lovely relationship and likewise would like my husband to be happy. I can't see us being together ultimately when our son leaves. Do we stay together for our sons sake until he goes to uni?
Please help ☹️.
Sorry for the long winded message. I know I've gone round in circles . A xxx