Hi ladies,
Sorry this may a bit long so stick with me. I'm having a shit time and really just need someone to offer a bit advice and tell me things will get better.
Bit of background, I've been with my oh nearly 3 years. We have a little boy who's nearly 2 and he has a son with extra behavioural needs who also came to live with us.
We officially ended things a few days ago, however we've been living apart for about 4/5 months.
Before I had my son, he was big into drink and drugs. The weekend I found out I was pregnant, he disappear for 5 days on a binge. I left him and he vowed to change.
Which he did, he stopped the drink and drugs. However, I was 6 months pregnant when I found out he cheated on me. Then after the that got us evicted from our home when my son was born, he was gambling the rent money when I was thinking he was paying for it.
I kept choosing to take him back as I thought I loved him.
Fast forward to xmas, we had been saving for the boys xmas. I went to bed early One night as my mum had the kids (he didn't do a lot for them and I was shattered). Go downstairs the next morning and the jar had been broken with the money in. He had used it to go out and buy cocaine. Absolutely devestated i moved back to my mums in January after we had getting over xmas. He wouldn't leave so I did with my son.
Ever since then I've had to try and rebuild our life. I've finally getting me and my boy a new home but it's taking so long to move in as he wouldn't give me any of our furniture, doesn't pay maintenance and told me I had to pawn my belongings when I asked him for nappies.
On 9 separate occasions he was meant to be coming to see our son, he never turned up. Went to the pub instead. Didn't even bother sending a text or call to say he wasn't coming. Even when my son had the paramedics when he was ill, he turned his phone off and went out. I've tried to help him, through the week he wants to change and says he needs help. I've phoned doctors for him, tried to listen to him and sometimes believed him when he's said he can't stop.
But now I have literally reached the end of what I can take with him. hes seeing other girls, telling them I'm crazy and I've stopped him from seeing my son. I would NEVER do that, I've always gave him chance after chance to sort him self out and he never does. And 2 days ago he rang and said he'd crashed his car drunk driving and ran away from the scene so he didn't get caught.
His family walk past my son and ignore him and they all think I'm the bad one. I'm completely rock bottom with all this. I don't want my son being effected by him or his family anymore but I know I can't play god with his life. He will start understanding soon and I can't bear the fact that nobody bothers with him. I just want to move away and take my little boy with me. Can I stop contact? Not that he really makes contact but I want it stopping all together. I've not slept for days trying to do the right thing, I feel sick and humiliated that he's watching me and my son struggle, talking shit about me and most of all just letting my son down every week for drugs, alcohol and women. I would give my son the world to make him happy and protect him from this mess. He's associating with drug dealers. Owes people money and now this with the car is the final straw! He threatened to kick my door in if I stopped him seeing him, but never turns up anyway?
Could I see a solicitor? Help!!
And if you've getting this far, thankyou xx