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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Dealing with OH's ex

2 replies

chuckingstones · 14/06/2017 09:21

We've been together nearly two years now, however my OH's ex is a nightmare. He's constantly berating her when he comes to pick up the children, he waves around the court order they have when it benefits him and ignores it (3 times now) when it doesn't.

We've spoken to the police a few times about his behaviour at the door (loud banging when he comes to the door, then consistent banging when he doesn't get what he wants. Also the snide comments he makes), I record everything which they say is good but they've advised me not to get involved (which is hard when someone you love is being berated in front of you!).

He loves threatening court when he doesn't get his own way (but doesn't follow through) and refuses most of the time to respond to any messages my OH sends him (even when they concern the children).

We thought his behaviour might improve when he got a new gf, but this isn't the case (we don't know how long he's known her but we've never met her, it's been at least a few months).

I'm struggling to deal with this, especially trying to not become too involved. We've realised he probably suffers from an extreme form of narcissism due to his behaviour but obviously there's nothing we can do about that.

We're currently buying him out of the house we're in so have to keep him as sweet as possible so he doesn't try and screw it up (again he's threatened court because he thought we were holding up the process when in fact his solicitor has been setting stupid deadlines).

Again, my brain is having issues processing all of this and separating myself from it all. The fact that this could continue indefinitely is a nightmare! The courts have told him to behave before but that seems to get nowhere, I can foresee us ending up in court again and him getting more tellings off but that's it.

Sorry for the long post/rant, it's more a plea for help and to understand that we're not the only ones who have been through something like this (though I wouldn't wish the situation on anyone!).

OP posts:
mrssapphirebright · 14/06/2017 16:12

Hi OP. I feel your pain. sadly there is not a lot than you can do, sounds like you are doing all you can. We went through 5 years of this with my dh's exw. Once someone has it in to ruin your life then its hard to break away from that. Its wearing to say the least.

We now have a harassment order out on dh's exw which means she cannot contact us or come near our house. That seems to have done the trick for the last year. Took a long battle to get there and thousands in court fees too.

chuckingstones · 14/06/2017 19:30

Thanks for the reply. It is sad and my OH has already spent thousands of pounds on court cases. It really is wearing, I think we've realised that he's accidentally got a pair of my son's shorts (as told by my OH's ds), but he's denying he has (as he always does with everything).

It would be great if we didn't have to have contact at all with him but given how complicated he is over access days we'd have to give him more access to avoid seeing him.

Sometimes I just want to scream at him about how idiotic he is but that's probably just giving him what he wants. I just can't wait for his kids to be old enough to try and talk some sense into him.

OP posts:
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