I am thinking of leaving my wife. I don't want to, but I also don't see my life getting any better while we remain together.
We have two lovely daughters, who I hate to think of growing up in a "broken home". I struggle to imagine how that would even work.
So why is life so difficult? My wife does almost nothing to help with our family life. She quit her job when she became pregnant with our first daughter, and has not gone back to work since (and says that she has no intention of doing so, as we don't need the money). However, she also does not cook, or clean, or exercise, or buy groceries, or even tidy the home. If she needs to feed our toddler she will often resort to ordering a takeaway or feeding the child unhealthy snacks. We have no sex life: after we married she was only interested when she wanted to get pregnant. As soon as she was pregnant she showed no interest in being intimate together, and rejects my advances. When I try to arrange dates (theatre, restaurants etc) she always finds some reason to reject my suggestion.
That is not to say that I am perfect (I have lots of flaws) but I try incredibly hard to make our relationship work. I have a high pressure job, with long hours, but I am home almost every evening to put the girls to bed, and I take care of the kids every weekend.
The house is constantly filthy (because she creates mess, or allows the kids to do so, and then just leaves it) so once the kids are down to sleep I have to tidy and clean, and cook (often for both of us, because she won't prepare meals). Most nights I have to get up during the night to take care of our eldest daughter, who still wakes frequently, because my wife ignores the cries or says that she needs her sleep.
If she were run off of her feet every day I could understand all of this, but we have a full time nanny (who also does some nights with the younger girl), and a regular cleaner, and our oldest daughter goes to nursery most days. I earn well by pretty much any standard, and my wife wants for nothing, so I am not really sure where I am going wrong.
In short, I am exhausted, and I am miserable, and my health is deteriorating. I am always tired. I can't remember the last time someone made me a decent home cooked meal.
When I explain that I am unhappy to my wife she gets upset and says that she'll try harder (presumably she must sense that I can't put up with this forever) but within a couple of days she is back to watching TV, playing with her phone, and taking long naps.
I don't want to be unreasonable, or to break up our family, or to demand too much as a husband, but surely most families do not function this way?