spousal maintenance ?

[slowdive]

I know I need to see a solicitor.... next on my list as soon as I have time.

H earns well (40k - we are in the north east, not London). One of the DC is severely disabled and I am the main carer.

Is spousal maintenance usually given in circumstances like that? DC will need life long 24/7 care and will never leave home and become independent. So it's not a case where I can re-establish myself in the job market within 1 or 2 years. It will never happen.

Normally spousal maintenance is awarded on a much higher income, but yes a solicitor is a must. Child maintenance normally ceases in the August after the childs 18th birthday and then they can claim for support through uni/college but it goes direct to them. Had you thought about a maintenance payment rather than spousal being written into a consent order that means your ex will have to continually support his child throughout his adult life considering the disabilities involved?

yes, that is what I read (higher income needed for spousal maintenance). I might even consider a 50/50 care for DC. H would have a steep income drop but I would be able to work p/t and be independent financially from him.

just seems so unfair that he could get away with keeping his career and life whilst I would be housebound with a disabled child on carers allowance. I want some life beyond the caring and financial hardship as well - even if it is only a part time job.

we are just splitting up so I am just getting my head around it all.

Stupid question? Wouldn't it be maintenance for your child rather than you? Do you are asking for help towards caring costs? Whether that money goes to a paid carer so you can work or comes to you as a "wage" is up to you? No experience of this but could CAB advise.
So sorry you are facing this. But yes a solicitor does sound a necessity.

for me - help with living costs, keeping my (rather humble) living standard. after all I enabled his career and if I continue caring, will enable him to continue with it - at my cost (unable to work due to caring responsiblies).

will try to find a solicitor after the school hols. Impossible now with DC in tow.

Slowdive, I am in a similar position.

I am wanting to divorce H; we have 3 dc, all disabled, one severely who will need 24/7 care and never be independent.

I too am the main carer, no hope of any job at all, while he gets to keep his career and life.

I am (finally! - school holidays, and general appointments etc kept getting in the way) seeing a solicitor tomorrow. I am relieved to be getting the ball rolling, but apprehensive, as H will not make it easy.

good luck. like you name and hope it all works out!

Thanks. Have seen solicitor, and now letter is being drafted to get the all rolling.

Deep breaths. Now I just need to tell H I want to get going on it all - he knows I want a divorce, but for various reasons we have been waiting it out. Not looking forward to that conversation!

Good luck to you too, it will all be ok.

no one here will be able to say if SM will be awarded and will depend on many other factors. Are there any assets - house/pension etc.? In these circumstances I would imagine if there are you stand a good chance of being awarded the lions share. Have you looked at this?

40k is not actually a particularly high income. His take home is likely to be in the region of £2400 a month. CM will stand at around £450-550 a month (you didn't say how many children you have? assuming they stay will him 1-2 nights a week. That takes him down to £1900 a month. Of which he will need to house himself (somewhere suitable to have the children) and pay all his living costs too.

Your solicitor will be able to advise you on the likely outcome of a claim for maintenance, but I guess my point is, if awarded you probably can't count on it being a huge amount.

I think you need to think about what happens when CM stops at 18, if your children will never be independent.