Children treated equally

[user1493781098]

Please be gentle I'm a newbie 🙈

My lb is coming upto 10months
He has never met dad as he's always denied him and messed me about. Me and dad have 2 other children together who he sees regular (only daytime no overnight)

So I asked him outright about wanting a relationship with him

And he's said he will but only on basis that I'm never there. Non of my friends of family and he will never use a contact centre as he didn't need one with the others. If im to just send him off I need to send car seat.

How can I build contact up? What he's suggesting is not in anyway possible when they haven't even met and he's putting so many conditions in place!?

He's wanting extra contact with the bigger 2 and wanting to fight for what would be split custody. To me this is wrong when they're all been treat diff. No he's not directly said no but his way about this??

He's never met him or laid eyes on him

I'm no expert. Sorry you are going through this. I'd be insisting on a DNA test. After that, rather than ramping up constant, I'd be fighting for limited minimal contact for my of them. He's clearly a nasty arse and I wouldn't want child 3 being damaged by feeling he is less than his brothers. Maybe other people can suggest a more reasonable approach....

*all of them not my of them

DNA has been proven.

Why does he say he wants no contact yet happy to claim the other two?

Your baby will have his other siblings there??

Start off only allowing a few hours? Then build up gradually

Your baby will be fine - they build multiple attachments to safe care givers

Don't overthink this.

dont get into a war over kids when they are going somewhere safe and with someone who loves them

He didn't want them

I just feel for the first few visits it can't be a case of me sending him off and saying bye. I feel there has to be some sort of bond there.

I would find it difficult to send a baby off with someone they didn't know at all too, especially at this age when he's probably strongly attached to you and finds strangers a bit scary. What you are asking of him is not unreasonable.

Does he have a family member who you would trust, who could build a bond with your child first and then be present for access the first few times?

Non of his family have met him also

Your baby will have your other dc there. .. What about let him take them to soft play and you wait in the cafe or the car? If he struggles with him you can take him back. This should make him release he is a stranger to his own child and things will need to be more gradual.

If he is being awkward this will make him face facts. .
I hope he financially supports all 3 dc. .