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Reasons for Unreasonable Behaviour petition

21 replies

IronNeonClasp · 26/04/2017 17:00

Can anyone check if these are strong enough for me please? Thanks in advance!

  1. Since April 2015, the petitioner has slept on the sofa, not in the marital bed causing distress to the petitioner.

2. The respondent has not maintained a sexual relationship with the petitioner since April 2015 causing distress to the petitioner.
3. Since April 2015, the respondent has displayed a lack of interest in and affection towards the petitioner, which has led the petitioner to feel lonely and isolated.
4. The respondent shows no interest in socialising with the petitioner and prefers to be alone.
5. The petitioner and respondent have no common interests.
The petitioner and respondent are essentially living separate, independent lives, apart from where the children are concerned
6. The petitioner and respondent have no common interests aside from the children.
7. It is better for the petitioner and respondent’s children to have happy, divorced parents than be privy to a tense, unhappy environment.
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AnneLovesGilbert · 26/04/2017 17:13

Sounds absolutely fine.

Sorry you're had such a shit time of it. Add a final line saying the accumulation of the above incidents and the pattern of behaviour make staying married to each untenable.

IronNeonClasp · 26/04/2017 17:20

Really Anne? Thanks so much!
I need him to agree them - next hurdle!

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TragicallyUnbeyachted · 26/04/2017 17:26

Are both of the "petitioner" references in point 1 correct, or is one of them supposed to be "respondent"? If they are both "petitioner" then it doesn't reference any behaviour (unreasonable or otherwise) on the part of the respondent.

There seems to be some issue with, perhaps, a failed cut-and-paste in your points 5 and 6.

Point 7 doesn't seem to have anything to do with respondent's unreasonable behaviour -- you can probably lose that one entirely.

You could also add "The Respondent refuses to try and resolve the issues and continues to behave in an unreasonable manner", assuming that it's accurate (or tweak until it is accurate).

IronNeonClasp · 26/04/2017 18:16

Ok thanks. Will review what I have writ and resubmit Grin

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AnneLovesGilbert · 26/04/2017 19:53

Very good points by tragically. Good luck with it!

And you don't have to get him to agree. If you want to, send him what you're submitting by email, just the text from the reasons, and let him know when you're sending it in and that he'll be receiving his side of the paperwork soon. Don't get into a discussion. None of what you've said is inflammatory so he'd be a knob to quibble. It's his right to contest the divorce, and he could, but it's not your problem at this point.

Think about how you're paying for the divorce too. You can tick something on the forms if you want him to pay for it. Again, might not happen, but you can try.

I paid for mine. Was worth every penny for my freedom!

anahata · 27/04/2017 05:57


I filed against my Stbxh for Unreasonable Behaviour. My Solicitor told me that it was the most straight forward and quickest way, because no one can prove otherwise. What is reasonable to one person is unreasonable to another. No court can refute that. It's because of this that I used this instead of Adultery, which has to go through the third party etc.

I listed many reasons from his affair to constantly putting me last, unsupportive during my health issues, his laziness etc.

I may not have sued for Adultery, but I still got my point across!

Happy to answer any questions that I can.

plasticcheese · 27/04/2017 08:52

I would take the dates out; am lead to believe that these things should have happened in the last 6 months before separation. By saying you have been putting up with it for years implies that you have been happy to do so.
I would also personally not mention the children.

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/04/2017 09:49

I spoke to a lawyer about it before I filled mine in and he said it was very straight forward so I could do it myself. He told me what to write and it was literally something like:

We haven't shared a bed for 8 months and the relationship is over.
We are now living apart.
We have agreed the split of finances and assets between us.
The marriage is over and I want a divorce.

It must have worked!

A friend recently had their petition returned as incomplete but it turned out that she'd got the date of their wedding wrong and it wasn't the same as that on the certificate. Honestly, avoid stupid mistakes like that and make sure it's accurate and they're not going to tell you you can't have a divorce.

Yes, there's that batshit case at the high court, and god knows what's going on there, but for normal people, they have absolutely no reason to not let you have it.

Fill in the form, include the relevant paperwork and money, and pop it in the post.

IronNeonClasp · 27/04/2017 10:20

anahata - thanks. Plasticcheese - great advice thank you.

Anne. Thanks. People keep mentioning Tini Owens to me!! Confused
I'm going to post revised later on. Really appreciate the feedback. Oh and I will be paying for the divorce. I just need him to agree it all.

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AnneLovesGilbert · 27/04/2017 10:27

You don't need him to agree to it. Especially if you're already living apart.

The worst he can do is officially contest it when he gets paperwork from the court, usually a week or so after you send it off.

Good luck!

IronNeonClasp · 27/04/2017 10:30

Anne. We are still living under the same roof. I am trying to take over the mortgage pending a valuation this coming Tuesday. We are fairly amicable and he is happy to agree UB but I don't want to tip him over the edge.

I have no idea how long the process takes.

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nigelforgotthepassword · 27/04/2017 10:43

All good reasons but couldn't you more easily do it on grounds of 2 years separation if you've been living separate lives, albeit in the same house, since April 2015?

IronNeonClasp · 27/04/2017 10:53

nigel - I thought you had to have separate addresses?

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IronNeonClasp · 27/04/2017 11:40
  1. The petitioner has slept on the sofa, not in the marital bed for the last 6 months

2. The respondent has not wanted a sexual relationship with the petitioner for the last 6 months
3. The respondent has displayed a lack of interest in and affection towards the petitioner
4. The respondent shows no interest in socialising with the petitioner
5. The petitioner and respondent are living separate lives
6. The accumulation of the above make staying married to each other untenable
7. The petitioner and respondent have agreed the split of finances and assets between them
8. The marriage is over and the petitioner and respondent want a divorce.

Any better?
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Gemma1995 · 27/04/2017 11:47

It looks like a valid list. It's good that you appear to have a cordial relationship, that really helps. It's not a nice situation to go through and sometimes you get blind sided by feelings you weren't expecting. Keep going, you'll get there eventually. Friends are a good source of support even if you think you're feeling fine, it's worth looking after yourself and getting out to exercise or socialise just to keep your sanity. Hope it all goes smoothly and you come out the other end feeling better and positive Smile

IronNeonClasp · 27/04/2017 14:08

Thanks Gemma - that's a really lovely post :)

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nigelforgotthepassword · 27/04/2017 14:16

We didn't in our case...just proof that one of us was intending to leave.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 27/04/2017 14:23

I'd change 1. to

The behaviour of the respondent towards the petitioner have forced the petitioner to sleep on the sofa not the marital bed for the last 6 months.

Otherwise he could just say it your choice and nothing to do with his behaviour.

IronNeonClasp · 27/04/2017 15:29

Nigel - are you able to elaborate? Or link?

That makes sense Milk. Will amend.

Thanks so much for the contributions :)

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nigelforgotthepassword · 29/04/2017 06:59

We said we were living seperately but under the same roof for a year-h then moved out for the second year of the period we referred to for the divorce as 2 years separated. But the first year wasn't questioned-we slept in spectate rooms, didn't holiday together, didn't do things as a couple etc etc. Helps to separate your finances apparently-so no more joint account even whilst living under the same roof

IronNeonClasp · 01/05/2017 22:27

Thanks Nigel.

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