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Please advise me re: separation.

3 replies

TheGirlWhoLovedTomGordon · 09/04/2017 07:27

On Friday night I caught H in the act of texting another woman with explicit messages. History of infidelity. Have had it now, last straw. He says he's sorry and he's leaving. I want him to go.
My worries are financial. We rent our home and have 3 DC. He earns approx 23000 I earn about 19000. I can claim for HB, Council Tax Support and an increase in Tax Credits, apparently. I don't know how to do his though, or how long they will take to 'sort out', IYSWIM. I can't survive without his wage and I doubt I will see much child support Sad
He kept trying to talk last night and was furious when I said I wanted to go to bed. Am off to work now while he is at home with two youngest DC. Oldest DC away on camp. Bless him.

Thanks MN

OP posts:
fusspot66 · 09/04/2017 07:34

Have a look at entitled
Phone the tax credits line to start a claim - they will send paperwork

wolla1 · 10/04/2017 16:44

I'm in a similar position - although my H hasn't been unfaithful, we've come to the end of our 17 year marriage - decision made this weekend. We own our home, but he has agreed to move out and i'll stay there with our 2 DC - he's now looking for somewhere to rent.

I earn £20K and he's on approx. £14K so I'll be entitled to extra Tax credits. I've contacted the Tax Credit office today and they said that it can take up to 3 weeks to process a change in circumstances. I asked if I could start the process before he actually moves out, but they were very vague and I didn't get a proper answer to be honest.
You do need to show that the separation is 'likely to be permanent' - however they wouldn't give any examples of how you can show this (useful!!) You can inform them of a change of circumstances online now - you just need to register for a username

My (our) plan is to sever ALL financial ties as soon as possible - I've made a 'to do' list - which includes H opening a new current account, changing where his salary is paid into - removing him from Credit Card Account, changing home insurance, change his address at Dr's, etc etc, and hopefully this will all be enough to show that we are separated.

the only thing we plan on leaving joint for the moment is the mortgage as we'll need time to work out what to do about that, but I'm hoping that that won't affect the Tax Credit change, as I'll need the extra money from that to be able to pay the mortgage.

I'm trying to be as calm as possible and think about things rationally and practically, and the to do list is helping with that. I've also got lots of information from // - which is really useful.

Best of luck - hope you manage to sort everything out

dakota55 · 10/04/2017 18:49

You can log onto and do the tax credit calculator to see how much u will get as a single person. This should give u a good idea. Tell them asap that he has left snd u dont know where. Any payment should be back dated for you.

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