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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Mediation for child custody – what to expect

5 replies

LegoStarWars · 13/03/2017 17:13

In the very early days of separating from DH – we're kind of agreed, but still living together and family (including DS) don't know yet. I'm the one who initiated the split, because of general relationship stuff rather than abuse/affair/anything like that.

DH has organised for us to start mediation to sort out what will happen with DS (who's 8). That sounds probably a good idea to me, I'm just wondering what to expect? My view is that we should do joint custody as we've always parented very equally. I assume that's what DH would want as well, but he won't really say anything about what he's hoping for, just says he doesn't know as he's never done this before. What are they likely to make of it all? Are they normally in favour of 50/50 custody? I really think that would be easiest on DS, he's close to both of us and can't imagine him being happy to spend too much time away from either of us.

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 13/03/2017 18:28

Some good resources here

www.resolution.org.uk/divorceandparenting/

And here

www.cafcass.gov.uk/leaflets-resources.aspx

Ratbagcatbag · 13/03/2017 18:29

If it's amicable do you have to use mediation? We're just going through the same at my instigation, and we've agreed it between ourselves.

MrsBertBibby · 13/03/2017 18:32

And some stuff specifically about family mediation

www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/family-mediation/

The mediator isn't there to decide anything. It's all about helping you and your ex decide what to do together.

It's bloody hard work if you do it right, but if you can, it's great.

LegoStarWars · 13/03/2017 19:32

Thanks for the links Smile

I think the mediation is just because DH doesn't really know where to start or what the right thing is, so he's looking for an impartial third party to bounce ideas around with, and to provide a more knowledgeable perspective. I've been reading the forums on here for a long time so have built up an idea about shared custody, different models with different numbers of days between houses etc. He doesn't have that and probably doesn't want me to be the one explaining it to him!

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 13/03/2017 19:41

Would he look at any of those resources?

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