Divorce ending up in court-what happens?

[TheMrsX]

I've been separated for 2 years, started divorce proceedings about 18 months ago, although my ex didn't defend the divorce he has certainly made life extremely difficult during the entire time. He refused to move out of the family home, ignored every piece of paperwork from my solicitor and didn't respond to my financial settlement offer. My solicitor is now threatening Court as a way of deciding this once and for all as he has been so unhelpful. What actually happens in court? I'm bloody petrified by the thought of it. I fear he's going to give it the whole sob story, will this work?

Any advice gratefully received!

I'm a few steps behind you so following... Hugs xxx

Is it court for the finances?

I wouldn't fear court however, sometImes there is no choice.

You mean a financial application?

Those are sorted out on the basis of hard facts and numbers, judges aren't too interested in sob stories.

We went to court. I thought it was normal. For the finances.

Advice. Speak and write the truth always. As if you would do anything else. Go through his form e with a fine tooth comb
Be reasonable about your living costs
Answer solicitors letters promptly. It will save you money
Let him trip himself up and tie himself in knots if he's a lying cheating sort.
My exh living costs were laughable.he got found out with his lies
He tried to badmouth me as a mother . Luckily my daughter put the judge right on that score.
He tried every trick in the book and it all went against him.

Agree with Dowser Court is hard, cold, facts, & the threat of it often makes them settle. The scrote (what I call my ex) was as stubborn as a mule &. I though would never settle, but he did the morning of the Final Hearing.
The judge is your friend.
Chin up!

Before you go to court, you will both complete a big form (Form E) where you have to give details of all your assets and liabilities, the value of any property (houses, cars, expensive jewellery) pensions, earnings, expenditure etc. If his form raises questions, e.g, 'where did that £1000 come into his account from?' or 'what about that pension he was paying into and hasn't disclosed?' your solicitor will put together a list of questions and send it to him just before the first hearing.

The court bit is a 3-stage process:

First Appointment: the court makes directions to make sure you and the judge have all the information you need. This could include getting the house valued, setting a date to reply to each other's questionnaires, evidence of your mortgage capacities and properties that would be suitable for you and him, if you're going to need a new house. The two solicitors will talk to each other at court and will probably be able to agree what directions are needed. The judge will most likely have you in for a couple of minutes and sign it off.

Financial Dispute Resolution: Negotiation Day. Take plenty of change for the car park and a packed lunch. You could be there all day. With the judge's help, you will do your very best to negotiate a settlement via your solicitors. The judge will read all the papers and your solicitors will explain the issues, and the judge will give an indication of the sort of settlement he or she thinks is about right. Most people manage to agree at this point, but if you can't, directions will be made for a...

Final Hearing: you'll probably file witness statements in advance, and there will be directions for anything else the court needs, and you'll update your financial disclosure. With the help of the solicitors you can have one more go at negotiating, but if that doesn't work, the judge will hear evidence from you both and make a decision.

The judge is looking at how to stretch the assets to meet both of your needs, giving priority to any children's needs. The law is s.25 Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 which is in reasonably plain language if you google it. Sob stories don't get very far unless they're relevant - e.g. a bad foot is only of interest if your job requires standing up all day and you just can't do it any more and have medical evidence to confirm it.