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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Ex has nowhere to live - should I help?

26 replies

Severino · 23/01/2017 21:53

I have posted before about the EA I suffered with my ex as well as financial problems.
I 'kicked him out' (his words) a year ago and he rented a room. In that year he has retrained as a gym instructor and has several personal training clients, but not enough to bring in much of an income I would think. Most days he has free and works evenings.
He told me before Christmas that he had given up his room and was now sleeping in his car, although sometimes at his gf house.
He says he doesn't have enough money.

He now wants to tell th children that he lives in the car because he wants them to know how mean/cruel/unkind I am....
He has no concept that he has anything to do with breakdown of the marriage. I made him leave for our safety, so that no more bailiffs came knocking...
Any advice about what to do? The kids will be very upset if they think he sleeps in his car and will ask me why he can't come back here. I don't want to involve them with the reasons nor do I want to argue with him in front of them. He is being emotionally abusive in my opinion using the children as pawns.
If I were single and did not have the responsibility of the children I am damn sure I would have found a job to earn enough to support myself at least. Not sat and cried poor me.
Am I honestly being unkind to him? I am
So cross he is going to involve the children but I need to know, however hard it is, that I am doing the right thing. I don't Like to think of him sleeping in th car of course but feel he has every chance to rent a room if he wanted....

OP posts:
GoldfishCrackers · 04/02/2017 22:39

Not your circus; not your monkeys.
His emotional blackmail is part of an abuser's script. You got rid of him for your sake and your DC's sake - keep it up. The sort of man who would actually try to manipulate you and the DC like this - I shudder at the idea of him back under your roof.
I can only imagine this is part of a bigger game playing you against his girlfriend, too.

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