Utterly confused and down beat- need some support and advice

[Bloke82]

Our marriage is coming to an end. My wife has moved out, just shouts down the phone when we try to unpick where we are or hangs up, and I feel like a pathetic wreck just caught up in the storm. I think I know this is right- I am scared and sad, and I still lover her- but we cannot go on like this and I am losing my self respect. In truth, now she has gone, I really just want her to take her things and let me move on but that seems the latest aspect that she seems determined to control. She won't tell me when she will be getting her things. I know this is small, but it is making me so anxious. I am not 'throwing her out of our house'- far from it, but now I do want to move on. Is asking for this to happen unreasonable?

In the great scheme of things, it's a small issue. It will happen when it happens and you will get to move on. It's a really difficult time for you and my heart goes out to you but things will get better.

Have you friends and family you can spend some time with? Try and keep busy with other people to keep you going. Are you taking plenty of exercise, as this is a great way of keeping anxiety down?

If you feel really low and your post suggests you do, your GP could help. In our area we can self refer for talking therapies. As I said, things will get better.

All really sound advice. She has just become so nasty, full of blame and hate for me. It is so unnecessary. Its really hurting me.

At least she has moved out and you are no longer living together. I would give anything for that. However, I do understand where you are coming from, it's all about having your own space. The times when my STBEH is nasty and kicks off at me I find myself thinking 'why did he do that', etc. I have come to realise that when this happens I end up focusing on him rather than me. So try and keep your self talk to thinking about a positive future for yourself rather than the negative past or present that she is causing as things will get better (or at least I'm hoping they will, lol). I hope that all makes sense.