Exh wants to cut the maintenance he pays me.
I know I am lucky that I get a good chunk of money each month. He has to pay £650 for DS and then pays half the mortgage. He then rounds it up to £1500 (about £200) and as part of that uses my sky package in his new home on his laptop.
As you can see he earns a lot of money. He pays no tax as is a partner in a company and the company pay it, he gets a very generous car allowance but only spends a fifth of it on his (very naice) car. Even after he has paid the £1500 to me each month and that is added to my salary he still has double what I earn (plus £1500) in total.
When i first met him he worked in a bank behind the counter. I was a teacher. For the first ten years I was the major breadwinner and supported him and his son (who he paid maintenance for) and never questioned it - paid for holidays etc. My parents paid for us all to go abroad at least once a year and always paid for his son too. I supported him whilst he retrained and took a job on less money in a new field.
Then he had a stroke of good fortune and landed on his feet in a new job. His wages went through the roof so I gave up my career (I was an assistant head) at this point, had a baby and went part time. As exh was away with work and out of the house 530 in the morning to 730 in the evening every day was essentially home alone.
When he left it was agreed that he would pay £1500 which was as above. Life has been ridiculously hard. My pay means that I could not afford to move anywhere in this area - I could not even rent for the £600 I pay for half the mortgage. Ex pays nearly £1000 a months for a small (but very nice) apartment. There have been some months that I have had to borrow money off my parents to cover bills etc. And to feed DS.
He rarely has DS overnight (think once a month, no time in half terms, a couple of days at Easter and a week in summer). I don't go out often (perhaps once every couple of months and have not bought myself any new clothes on two years).
I have been doing some extra hours at work and my past has increased temporarily) an extra £300 a month). There are no full time positions going - or else I would take them. He wants to now take that off me as I am earning more now.
I know it sounds grabby but am I unreasonable to think with what he earns he should continue to pay this (he has a very glamorous life that I don't envy - it was part of what separated us as I am not the champagne swilling, glitzy wife he needed!).
Am prepared to be flamed but I do all I can work wise as I also care for my disabled mum and my child who has SEN.