What happens if a judge will not sign off on a financial settlement?

[notagainnellie]

At mediation we agreed no maintenance from me to him (he was sahd but left 2 years ago); not enough equity in the house to make it worth selling, but I can raise £17k on the mortgage and will give him 14K (less 50% marital debts). My solicitor has also advised to ask for divorce costs out of his share, but he doesn't know that yet. He also stated he wants none of my pension as he will get a sizable inheritance from his parents and I won't (and he apparently believes he will die before getting it anyway).

He has not seen a solicitor, but he knows what he is entitled to and the mediator told him often enough he should see one, and made it clear our settlement could be seen as unfair to him. He's not stupid or vulnerable. Solicitor has advised that the judge may not sign off on it, but what would happen then? Some things I have read suggest that they would ask to see him and then if satisfied would sign off on it, but that sounds too good to be true. Can they make people accept things they have said they don't want? If they did see us, would it be separately?

He also has MS, but is able to work. He has no pension arrangements as his mother's house is his pension apparently.

Any advice would be great.

He needs to be properly represented by a solicitor to have the best chance of the judge rubber stamping this. Definitely make sure he has one in place before you submit the consent order to the court.

How do I make sure? Emailed him and he didn't respond, then asked him whether he had seen it and he just nodded and shut down further conversation. Twat.

Asked if he had seen what? What are you wanting him to do?

It seems a little unwise to spring an additional demand for divorce costs on him if he's already agreed to a settlement your solicitor thinks is overly generous to you.

I want him to see a solicitor so it doesn't look as if I have coerced him, because I haven't!

I don't really see why I have to pay for the divorce in its entirety, especially when it's his adultery that has brought us to this. I must have paid about £2K for mediation and he had no costs due to being on a low income. It's going to be similar for the divorce, the additional mortgage costs will sting me a bit and I get no maintenance from him - he has them 4 nights a fortnight and 2 after school sessions for tea.

I may be better off than him (because he thinks most jobs are beneath him, despite his lack of qualifications and experience in much), but I don't have a bottomless pit of money. If I'm stretched much further by having to put the divorce stuff on credit the dc will start to suffer by having to miss out on stuff. He'll sure as hell never make up the shortfall.