Helping a child cope with an abusive parent

[bargainbetty]

Does anyone else have wise words to help me help my dd cope with going 50/50 to her Dad that is emotionally abusive? He is very charming and it had been so difficult to get some professionals to see the abuse. Some have seen it and written about it; some haven't. DD told a few people in the early days of our split (2013) but since the court ordered 50/50 she has decided it is best to not speak about ti as it only angers Daddy and no help was forthcoming. So looks like she has to continue going there 50/50 and make the best of it, but it's having a bad effect on her. Huge crying meltdowns, aggression,etc. She is 11. We've been referred to childrens services so hope help is coming. But meanwhile how to help dd cope.

I'm not sure there is anything you can do to help her apart from support her to not see him. Clearly his behaviour is upsetting her. Some health profs had noted it, so there is some documented evidence. I assume that the childrens services ref is due to her behaviour. Who instigated this referral? Have you spoken to the school, GP etc about this?

You can only minimise the damage and know that when she is with you she is safe. But also know that it is only a couple of years until she can choose.

Sounds like me when I was 11 and had 50/50 with my parents. The then court liaison officer insisted she see me alone and gently got it out of me I didn't want to live with dad anymore and that was that. I would be asking to vary the order and waiting for cafcass to get involved.