Divorced ex will not move out!

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OK posting this on behalf of a friend

She's finally divorced with 2 kids (8,11), but she has a problem... her ex husband will not move out of the house. He didn't want the divorce and claims he will stay there until the kids are both over 18 as it's better for the kids. The house is solely in her name (she settled with him for the house in the divorce) and I think she assumed he would go. He can easily financially afford his own place with room for the kids and she is happy to share custody 50/50. While she says he is a good dad he is not pleasant to her and makes the atmosphere in the house when they are both there very unpleasant.

She has taken to spending as little time there when he is there as possible. When he is there he is sulky and rude and she tends to 'hide' in her bedroom/office which is at the back of the house. He has more or less 'taken over' the rest of the house as his own/the kids. She is worried that the kids growing up in that atmosphere will think that is what relationships are like and be badly affected by it. He didn't even want to tell the kids they were divorced and finally she persuaded him to do it but he then subsequently refused so she told them and he then told them something different and called their mother to them.

This has made the atmosphere ten times worse and the kids are now uncertain as to what is going on. She wants him to move out, but everywhere she turns the advice seems to be he doesn't have to. Surely he can't put her through this for the next ten years and potentially mess their kids up as well?

Any advice. Can she evict him? Can she get a court order? Can she sell the house? Or does be have power of veto over all of those too?

He's being an arse and she's being a silly moo.

Unless of course they are doing the secret 'actually back together and far too embarrassed to admit it after making such a performance of splitting up' thing.

Which DP and I did do.

We kept our reconciliation secret for nearly three years, due to not wanting to deal with the fallout of cross parents and siblings.

YY I know it was silly.

I think it would depend on the quality of either side's solicitors too, and if he even knows he may be able to get one (thats if what I've read in the past is true about OO)

He hasn't applied for that though, so it sounds like she could just change the locks. However she would have to ensure he is able to get all his belongings.

LOL, no they are not 'back together'.

You still together alpaca? Fab story

Change the locks

Hi,

From a legal point of view (I'm a solicitor) she can for all intensive purposes chuck him out.

However, I would recommend that her barrister write to his legal counsel giving him 30 days to vacate the property.

There are "grey" areas - but assuming there has not been any "issues" with the mothers capability to look after the children then as far as the law is concerned her property her rights.

For what is worth on a personal level, it sounds like the situation could get well out of hand if that continued, better drawing that painful line now.

user123456789,

Thank you for your reply, do you know if she needs some sort of custody agreement setting up before she does this as surely he could claim he's being denied access to his kids. She is totally happy for him to have them 50% of the time, just not under the same roof.

Hello,

The thing with informal custody arrangements is they are agreed between the parties, therefore him being in the family home doesn't come in to it.

So for instance if she says you have 30 days to move out of my property, but I am happy for you to see the kids 50 % of the time - the legality lies in the property request as that's formally her asset (she had the entire right to request that / he has no legal right) . As long as she can prove she's not held back unreasonable requests to see the children then it's up to him to find somewhere for access as such.

Even if you go down the route of formal custody agreements she doesn't have to let him into the family home, the onus is on him to find somewhere safe to see the children.

Basically, it's not her duty to find him somewhere to see his kids, and if he pushes that I would imagine her counsel would recommend a contact centre, which I'm sure he wouldn't want. He doesn't have a leg to stand on from the info you have given.

Good luck.

I wouldn't think she'd need a formal court order. She can offer him 50/50 or whatever informally. She's not denying him access as long as she honours whatever agreement they come to. If she offers something reasonable and he refuses to agree to it, that it NOT obstructing contact. It's only obstruction if she refuses to let him see the children or continually puts road blocks in his way when he tries to see them.

Thank you both, I can't tell you how good it is to read these replies.

Can you ask your friend to show you the sealed financial consent order?

Mine details quite clearly that ex will leave the family home when he has his money. He's signed it, I've signed it and the judge has signed it - with dates given. He will thus be in breach of the Order should he not leave.

Mine doesn't say anything about leaving the house, but if he were going to share the house, I wouldn't have bought him out.

Honestly, he doesn't have a leg to stand on, but I can't see him moving out of his own accord, she will need legal support to kick him out.

Just read the OP again and it all sounds quite bizarre.

He may not be happy about the divorce but if it has gone through then he must have signed to agree to it. What was he expecting?

He hasn't agreed, he doesn't have to and his lack of agreement did not prevent her divorcing him. No court in the land would force people to stay married when one does not want to and reasonable grounds for divorce have been proved.... as in this case!

Not sure how this happened, divorce proceedings cannot be completed unless one of them leaves. Go back to court becasue this toxic situation isn't helping anyone.

She should have made sure the consent order stated he would leave. Her sol sounds a bit rubbish.

Hi,

If divorce is sorted and he has no legal claim to house then he is legally a lodger. As such there is a clear eviction process for lodgers which she should follow: www.gov.uk/rent-room-in-your-home/ending-a-letting

babybarrister, you are right... I have found out there is a draft financial agreement that is being honoured by both parties, but it is not legally ratified.

Does this affect the situation regarding legally evicting him? If so on what basis?