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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Going to court over access

22 replies

westendgirlx · 16/07/2016 13:09

Hi! Just wanting some advice. I'm English, my estranged husband is Scottish. We used to live together in Scotland. After two years of separation I have moved down to England with our daughter, who has settled in marvellously. I was just about to sort out access with her father (we are living only 100 miles apart), but he has sent a writ stating he wants 50:50 access, which is totally impossible because of school etc! Our daughter is 11. Besides this he has been very difficult over the separation, refusing to go to family mediation and slagging me off. Plus, he tried to wriggle out of paying maintenance. I have tried to stop this going to court because it is impossible to grant 50:50 access for practical reasons and it's basically wasting the court's time, and costing me thousands even though I don't want it. However, apparently there is nothing I can do to stop it under Scottish Law!

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 16/07/2016 13:10

One of you could move so there was continuity of schooling?

Fourormore · 16/07/2016 13:43

If you're living in England then the case will be heard in England, with English & Welsh law. If he wants 50/50 then he's going to have to move closer to where your daughter is. It doesn't need to cost thousands, you can represent yourself.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 16/07/2016 13:55

The courts are likely to solicit your dd's viewpont before making a decision

MrsBertBibby · 16/07/2016 19:19

How long is it since you moved to England? Did he agree to the move?

Original poster
westendgirlx · 16/07/2016 20:10

We've been moved 2 weeks and I moved to give my daughter a better life. My husband is a control freak and would try to prevent me moving. He has tried to stop my having a new partner too...unsuccessfully.

OP posts:
Fourormore · 16/07/2016 21:08

Ah, I read as if you had been in England two years. My previous post may not be accurate in that case.

SharonfromEON · 16/07/2016 21:13

I think you might be in a difficult position in the fact you moved knowing he wasn't going to agree....

What was access like before the move?

MrsBertBibby · 16/07/2016 23:05

Long time since I looked specifically at removals between England and Scotland, but I think Scottish courts retain jurisdiction in your circs.

It's not as bad as a move to proper abroad, but you shouldn't have removed her from Scotland without his consent.

Or, I imagine (being an English not a Scottish solicitor) changed her school.

Be prepared to get some flak.

MrsBertBibby · 16/07/2016 23:10

Have you got a Scottish solicitor yet? You need to get some proper advice. And to build your case about his control issues.

All the best.

Original poster
westendgirlx · 16/07/2016 23:42

Actually I've had a Scottish solicitor for a year and she has told me the law states that I can move where I like as long as it is in the UK...

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 17/07/2016 09:05

So why are you asking for advice on here?

lifeisunjust · 17/07/2016 11:20

The starting point should be 50/50 and the fact YOU have moved looks very bad.

Put yourself in the judge's shoes for a moment. What would they do? I think you would have to prove the reasons why you have decided to move your child without the consent of the other parent is better for the child. On the face of it, it is not.

Cabrinha · 17/07/2016 11:27

So during the last 2 years of your separation have you been living apart? And if so, what has been the contact arrangements?

If you have a well established split with separate houses and weekend only contact for him - fair enough to consider a move.

Otherwise you are out of order just moving her, and (even though from what you say he sounds like an arsehole) you are wrong.

I don't think it's fair to say she has settled in well (making it sound disruptive to move her back?) when it has been 2 weeks. You know - a holiday length of time!

It's also a bit much of you to say "only 100 miles".

100? Would you think 100 miles wasn't far if he moved her away from you?

As for quality of life... What exactly is better about her quality of life now, that is worth more than having both her parents close enough to be involved in her daily life?

lifeisunjust · 17/07/2016 11:29

Well said Cabrinha.

Cabrinha · 17/07/2016 11:29

I'm also wondering whether this 100 mile move was to move in with a new boyfriend? (as you say you ex has been unsuccessful in stopping you from seeing someone new)
Which makes me wonder whether the move is entirely motivated by a "better life" for your child.

VimFuego101 · 17/07/2016 11:30

It's only impossible for him to have 50:50 access because you have moved. I don't know what the law is in Scotland, but in England he could have obtained a prohibited steps order to stop you moving. Did you tell him in advance or did you just leave?

lifeisunjust · 17/07/2016 11:36

I am not impressed you are moaning about the legal costs. They are YOUR costs. No-one obliges you to have a solicitor. You're lucky you have the money to pay. It hardly sounds like the needs of the child are at the forefront of your mind.

mrsbrightside3 · 18/07/2016 09:31

I'm not sure your exh will see it as 'wasting the courts time' - he wants access to his dd - to him this is very worth it. If my exh packed up and moved our dc 100 miles away I would go straight to court for access. If a 50/50 split isn't possible in the week - due to schools etc then a judge could rule that your exh has his dd every weekend or holiday to compensate. It is likely that you will be made to do half the travelling too....

AyeAmarok · 18/07/2016 09:43

On the face of it, it sounds like you have been a bit hasty with this move.

Two weeks really isn't long enough to state that your DD has settled in marvellously. Plus, I assume she's not even at school at the moment due to holidays?

Hubnut · 18/07/2016 22:24

I would imagine the court will frown on him refusing mediation. Presumably that's where you would have raised the intention to move to England.

Cabrinha · 19/07/2016 17:26

That's no excuse at all Hubnut
You can't just say "oh well, you won't go to mediation, I'll move anyway".
You don't know why he refused mediation. Whatever has happened he shouldn't refuse it - but there are definitely valid emotional reasons why someone would find it hard to go and want to be awkward. Splits are never easy.

Northernlurker · 19/07/2016 17:33

What access did he have pre move?

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