mental abuse

[jewelxyz]

hi, would like some advice from anyone that may have been in a similar situation to myself. I was with my partner for 9 years we weren't married, we had a child together who is now 6, the last few years he has been bullying me, controlling putting me down etc, .he had a business which I helped him with but he never paid me anything , the mortgage was in his name only, eventually I left he clearly wasn't going anywhere stating its my house etc etc, am just wondering legal aid wont cover a solicitor but I would have to pay, has anyone ever done this and won? and is it costly? thanks julia

[HappyDay5]

I was in the same situation but 'lucky' enough to have married my areshole around a year before I finally left him. To be fair, it hasn't made much of a difference as the mortgage is in his name and causing all kinds of problems - the key factor is your child.

I believe you have every right to some kind of asset split as your child rearing counts towards equal financial contribution. He was able to work/run a business because you were raising his child. It also goes in your favour if you contributed anything to the mortgage payments etc.

From thisismoney.co.uk:
In addition to maintenance for the children assessed though the Child Maintenance Service where agreement has not been possible, couples whether married or not can seek 'top up' maintenance through the family court to cover additional needs of the children.

The family court can also can make provision of housing to a co-habitee for the children and order one of the co-habitees to provide capital or transfer a house to the other for that purpose if assets are available.
However, when the children reach 18 it usually follows that this capital/home has to be transferred back to the person who provided it.


I would initially approach a mediation service (first session alone is free). This is often then free depending on your income but he will pay his own fees. I would also book around 3 appointments with family law solicitors. They give you an initial consultation for free and if you spread them out over a few days you go into each appointment a little better equipped than the last. Citizens Advice portal is also a wonderful source of information.

If all else fails and you think you can stand it (and it's safe), move back in with your child. He'll have a real struggle legally removing you if you're the primary carer and your child needs a roof over their head.