Last year I separated from husband due to adultery with an old school friend of his and another woman he met at a wedding. We have two little girlsage five and seven.
I later found out from looking at his computer and phone he was looking at prostitute sites for yearsand had a secret credit card account with a lot of debt. I went to get a STD screen shaking and crying the next day. At the time I didn't take a copy of any of the information I found or text messages between the prostitutes arranging meetings. I have no proof as a result now. I was too shocked at the time to think about getting evidence. When i confronted him He denied seeing prostitutes, said thei made the text messages up and said that all men look at sex sites. He says the credit card was spent on things for the family. He says he likes sex and women etc. He turned it around and made it sound like I was small minded and closed off to sex.
When we were together he never helped with the house, always drank heavily and complained aout the girls being noisy. He would say nasty things to me. But in public he always looked like a nice guy and husband and people would tell me how lucky i was and how he loved his girls.
He has admitted to friends and family that he had an affair with the woman from school and another one night stand at a friends wedding. He tells them he was undert stress at work, very remorseful and wanted to work to save our marriage but that I overreacted etc, he's turned it around so it makes it look like i didn't try hard enough and took the girls away from their daddy and now they are suffering because I have done this to them. But he has hidden the money issues and the prostitutes from everyone. I dont want to expose my daughters to lots of stress and create a war with his family and friends by trying to convince people he's lying. I just think they will think I am mad, as he seems such a nice man. So i keep quiet about what I know and cry every day. I feel so weak and worry so much for my girls.
So how I live with the fact he will never admit to all this and that I can;t prove it? That no one will ever know what kind of person he really is and that people blame me, even friends I knew well? He;s so good at hiding the real him.
I find it hard to function every day. I'm so alone with what has happened to me, trying to understand why he did this. All I can think it that I need to stay strong for the girls and try and be happy around them, but when they are at school and after they go to bed, I just crumble. How I move on and make a life for myself again?