CM

[lousylear]

My husband went to see a solicitor yesterday. He told that yes he will have to pay me CM but as I work I will have to pay him CM for the days he has kids. He went on to say that they will cancel each other out so he won't have to give me any. This is not what my solicitor said to me. Surely this can't be right?
Some background:
I was a SAHM up until October 2015. 3 kids, 12,10,8. He earns £32k, I earn £12k. He works full time. I work part time. He will have kids for tea on a Wednesday and then overnight fri/sat 3/4 wknds. I will have them the rest of the time.
I am moving out with kids next week and now I'm really stressing about money. We had a row about it last night too.

I don't live in the UK, but in a country where 50/50 or near enough is the norm and now few people have sole care. Here there is a simple formula for working out maintenance and you might find it a useful one to propose to your husband, as you are proposing 50/50.

Work out the costs of housing/food/clothing/after school activities for each child and do the same for each parent. For housing for example 1200 = costs of the house / 4 occupants = housing cost per person.300 per month. Agree upon these costs. Let's say for example the total costs for the children, in both houses, all added together is 2400 per month.

Now add your salaries together. 12+32 = 44k. Now do each salary as a ratio. 12/44 = 27%. 32/44 = 73%.

Now take the 27% of 2400 = £648. Now take 73% of 2400 = 1752. Now take 50% of 2400 = 1200 as you need this to work out the equality in this maintenance. Now 1200 - 648 = 552. So £552 is what maintenance your husband would be obliged to pay YOU as you earn less, but that would make you both pay exactly the same proportion of your incomes to bring up the children.

Then you consider how much child benefit / child tax credits ONE parent receives, as it can only be one parent. It makes sense that the lower earner receives these extra children's benefits. For example, your children's benefits add up to £400 per month. 553 - 400 = £152 per month. That is what in the end you receive in maintenance. An alternative to reducing the maintenance with these children's benefits is for the parent in receipt of them to buy all clothes, pay for all after school activities, this will work if the total of these costs is equal to the children's benefits, in which case you remove these costs from the initial agreement on the "costs for the children".

If your income increases, or his income decreases, you re-calculate. You could do the maths once a year and set the maintenance for the following year.

This really is the fairest system. It means each parent pays not exactly the same but pays the same proportion of their income on the children.

If you're in the UK then the amount of maintenance will reduce by 1/7th for each block of 52 nights that he has in a year - or more simply, if he has them 1 night a week, every week, it will reduce by one seventh, two nights a week will reduce by two sevenths etc.

If you have a 50/50 arrangement (in terms of overnights, not daytimes) then no maintenance is due.

Based on 2 nights for 3/4 weekends, that's 78 nights a year, so a reduction of 1/7.
Will he have them for extra nights in the school holidays?

Based on your figures and him having DC two nights a week three out of four weeks he is likely to have to contribute £100 a week. He could try and claim from you, not sure how successful he would be, on £12k a year you would be paying around £7 a week. He's trying to control you

Unless it's 50/50 shared care he's talking utter shite.

Yes utter shite, as is the poster going on numerous threads talking about 50/50.

Oh and you have no idea what the solicitor said to him. You only know what he said to you. And that's bullshit

If it's 50/50 he's right and by the way I have my children 100% of the time (my ex';s choice not mine!) and due to my high earnings our consent order says I pay everything so it does vary.

In your situatino I suspect if you get the tax credits and child benefit and any other state benefits that will make up you £12k to whatrever his salary is after tax so you probably will both have the same net income. If you both have the chidlren equal amounts of time you might be splitting child tax credits and child benefit 50/50 each.

It is very clear from the OP that he does not have the children 50% of the time.

If I've understood correctly, he has them overnight 6 nights every 4 weeks. That definitely didn't equate to 50% when I was at school.

To clarify. He will have them fri/sat overnight 3 weekends out of 4. Plus half the nights in every sch hol. Wed for tea but not overnight. Is this 50/50. I don't think it is. But maybe solicitors do their maths differently. Anyone out there with a maths degree?

So 40 weeks at 2 nights on 3/4 weekends and 42 nights (6 weeks of holidays at 7 nights each). 102 nights, nowhere near 50/50.

I'd just go through the CMS. Much simpler.

Sorry it's my fault for not reading properly.
50/50 is exactly that based on time and it should really be days and nights
But even if it were 50/50 in time, it still should IMO in the interests of justice and fairness, be a case of sharing costs according to income, lower earner paying less higher earner paying more. Should be same standard in either household.

I fail to understand anyone who attempts to pay less for their children like they are a commodity. It shows a complete lack of love.