As above really. I have a three and a half year old DS with my now ex partner. The relationship has never been right really but we (ex and I) actually get on ok as long as certain unresolvable issues aren't being discussed. We didn't really live together that well on a practical basis either (very different habits) and he basically never wanted sex after the very early stages of being together. Twice in the past year!! All of which is just some background and to explain that I genuinely think we have a chance of being better as friends than as a couple. We're both really committed parents and want to minimise the negative impact on DS.
So what's happened is that DS and I have moved in with my parents, two days ago. They live close to where we have been living and he has a fab relationship with them and also, we (all) lived with them for a year or so before so it's basically home from home for him. This is just until I get on my feet financially but could quite easily be for another year plus as I have some credit card debt to pay off and really want to get that sorted before looking for somewhere hopefully permanent for the two of us.
Ex and I have worked out visiting arrangements whereby DS will be with me the majority of nights but see his dad every couple of days basically including spending Tuesday nights into Wednesdays (he has every Wednesday off work and always looks after DS then) at our old flat where ex is still living, plus every other weekend. We would also like to make a point of still doing family stuff together (going for a picnic or whatever) every couple of weeks and DS will still see us interacting in a pretty normal way besides that, just not as much obviously. Ex is happy to pop over here and do tea time, stories etc maybe one extra night per week - although I'm wondering if that might be slightly stressful for DS in terms of then saying "daddy's going back to the flat now", could it upset him?
Also possibly relevant info, DS and ex have an ok relationship but DS is massively more of a mummy's boy. Basically I think as long as he's with me a majority of the time he will be fine with my ex not being there 'all' the time. Maybe that sounds mean to my ex or maybe it's just normal for three year olds to want their mums more, idk.
Sorry if this is tedious or too much detail but I'm just trying to give an idea of our situation as I feel in a way we are not a typical separating couple of there is such a thing? The romantic type feelings are long gone so it's very low key and amicable, I just don't have a clue what to say to DS.
I know it's ridiculous in that we 'moved in' yesterday and now on our second night and haven't actually had a proper talk but as he's so young and used to being here anyway, we really don't want to say anything that would worry him. But clearly need to say something at some point! Just don't know how to approach it really!! I don't want to make things worse by not dealing with the elephant in the room but should I/we just wait until he asks questions or what? Have we already made a mess of this? 