Help,
I'm really upset that I am having to write this so please bear with me.
My husband and I have had a rough ride we fell in love 2009 got engaged after a few months, after going through a rough time together, I had a mental health condition I was in aware of and it caused relationship insecurities. I had had a tough unstable family time growing up and had been raped at 15 years old. I had a lot of mis trust and made a few very silly mistakes. One which I very regrettably ended up in prison for (I owned up to it and took full responsibility, it was theft from employer). Throughout that time I worked my hardest on my mental health illness and my fiancé stood by me 100%. We would argue at times because of my insecurities that I desperately tried to control. In 2011 we got married on a clean slate. We wanted to start a family so started trying straight away and found I became pregnant in March. We found a new family home and started a great family life. I was to be a stay at home mum and was unbelievably in love with my daughter and husband. But my insecurities still caused a problem more because of the mistake I had made. My self esteem was very low. I vowed to my daughter to never bring her up like I had been brought up. I couldn't love her enough.
My husband doesn't understand emotional things at the best of times and I guess he was growing very tired of my insecurities even though he understood where they came from. He was getting tired of the questions. I sort help again for the sake of my daughter and husband and had counselling. It did the world of good and summer last year I had everything under control.
This year I collapsed and they discovered a cyst. It played havoc with my hormones and recently had it removed as it burst.
My husband feels it's one thing after another and when is it going to end.
I feel everything is finally sorted it's been tough but wanting to get on with life.
I think my husband has given up. I think deep down he feels it's over and doesn't love me like that anymore.
I'm worried I do not want to lose him and he knows. My main worry is that if he wants me to leave I won't have a leg to stand on. He will use my mental illness and background as a means to keep my daughter and carry on life with out me. He'll use all my insecurity times against me saying I make him miserable.
I want nothing more than to make him happy but I don't think it's me he wants anymore.
If I leave how would I go about somewhere to live etc. I have nothing at all.
Please help me.