FDA hearing on Friday - what should I expect and how should I prepare?

[Namechanger2015]

After a year of wrangling with ExH we finally have our first financial resolution hearing on Friday.

ExH absolutely cannot tell the truth - his FormE is a confusing mess, and my shit hot solicitor is telling me she would never have let the form be released if he were her client, and that we are in no position to negotiate as he is still not been clear about what his assets are. His form is full of inconsistent dates and numbers - in one place he claims to have 'lent' his friend £750,000 and yet he has a letter from friend stating the amount to be £850,000.

There are big sums of money involved, he has hidden or dissipated most of it. My SHL provided a list of 49 questions in questionnaire, none of which have been answered as yet. He sent me a list of 11 questions which, in SHL advice, I have answered fully along with supporting documents etc. His questions verged on the ridiculous - wanted me to prove our daughter attends hospital appointments that require me to take time off work (he knows she does, he came to hospital to see her ), whereas mine were relatively more 'serious' questions - eg why has all £35,000 of ISA savings been transferred to your brother and what is he doing with the money.

SHL has said to expect some questions to be struck off the list at the hearing as this is quite normal, but all of mine do raise quite significant financial queries.

I have a relatively busy week at work until the hearing on Friday - I think this is good as it will keep my mind occupied at least.

But I'm not sure how to prepare for the meeting or what else I should be doing. SHL has advised that all paperwork is in order, and I have a good barrister representing me on the day. (Not met her yet but she has a good reputation and SHL is happy with her).

Anything I should be doing this week to prepare, physically or emotionally?

Can you remind me? is that the one where the Judge says what he would say if he was making a decision on the facts before him, although he can't actually make that decision?

Mine self repped, and in reply to our Questionnaire, which IIRC the judge had to approve at an earlier hearing, he sent a huge swathe of PayPal accounts (we'd asked how much he'd transferred into the joint account in the previous year), and seemed unaware that he was supposed also to send the same paperwork to the court to be looked at by the judge. My sol had to craft a letter to him to subtley point this out, and he resubmitted something simpler. (Mine was an obstructive cocklodger, btw, so situation a bit different, similar type of ExH)

So I don't actually have a definitive answer, but suspect the judge may think your Ex is taking the piss being inconsistent and disrespectful to the court.

My SHL managed to get a settlement that was acceptable to me in a meeting with her, me and Ex a couple of weeks before FD?A or?H if it's the hearing I'm thinking of.

(Been wondering how you are, btw )

Hello Silvery it's so lovely to hear from you. You sound like you are doing amazingly, you are a bit of a hero for me at the moment

My hearing is the FDA - it's the first hearing where the questionnaire is presented and judge decides what to strike out. My SHL is not attending his as she suggested I take a barrister, as his FormE is such a mess.

On the other hand he is also being an arse re child maintenance - he was asked via solicitors letters 5 times to pay towards kids and he refused. I went to Child Maintenance Options and he claimed a self-employed income of £9,000.

When I contested it he told them he has reassessed himself on an income of £50,000 and calculated an amount. He then deducted child care vouchers (which I didn't ask for, and comes out of our joint account hat I can't access), and he also deducted £125/month petrol costs for coming to see the kids. So nearly £375 deducted in all. So I am again contesting with CMA. Between that, the upcoming court date, a poorly non-sleeping 3 year old and busy work, I am falling apart a bit.

I can't imagine what will happen at Friday's court date. I have good legal representation but still an overwhelming fear he will hide and dispose of assets (which he has done to most assets already), and the children and I will be left with nothing. It scares the life out of me, not sleeping well etc at the thought of it.

I want Friday to be over, but that brings on the scarier FDR, which will be even harder.

Don't even know what to wear or what to rake with me on Friday.

I'm so distracted I was thinking of taking my work laptop so I can work in the corner whilst my barrister sorts everything out for me!

the judge may think your Ex is taking the piss being inconsistent and disrespectful to the court

How would this play through? Would the court warn him to play ball or ask him to resubmit etc?

I've been totally transparent and disclosed everything, and answered all questions fully before our first hearing. It makes me wonder if I have been a complete mug in laying all of my finances bare when he has not been honest about his.

PMd you

Thanks babybarrister, I hope it all bites him as his dirty tricks are getting worse and worse.

He came to the FDA and changed some numbers. He said he realised his dad had actually loaned us £400,000 (was £135,000) on his FormE) and it was a joint loan, and H has now paid back his dad £376,000, presumably by selling him our marital assets.

He also claimed that his dad may or may not be a beneficial interest in our marital home, but h is not quite sure (wtf?! We asked for paperwork as this is also news to me).

At this point I had a good cry in front of my barrister.

It's all numbers and games to him but it's the very real difference between me being able house and feed my children or not.

Barrister said its obvious he is lying, we will ask him for paperwork (which he will no doubt forge/backdate) and he will tie himself in knots with it all.

However I am not so confident, I feel sick that his dad now holds £376,000 worth of our assets, and I have no idea if I will get them back. Judge talked about section 37 orders (?) but I don't know how feasible they would be. He did request narratives from H friends and family regarding the loans he claims to have taken from them, but he agreed to all of my questions - all 60+ of them.

FDR will take place in July/August time.

Am worried sick and feeling totally broken by it. He is totally playing a game with made up numbers and fictitious loans. I worry that he will magic up statements or documents from somewhere, even though these loans have never existed. This will drag on for a second year, so me and kids can't move on or buy a house for a good long while yet. Feel defeated.