What are key * things to consider for a divorce ?

[Mum2680]

My ex is away now and I have a child aged 3 yrs and a joint property . I have been told many stories about divorce via many solicitors and trying to find out whats the most important

1. Costs - My lawyers are quoting we £3000+ for divorce , order for sole entitlement to the child and property matters .. is this real ? with an hourly rate of £200 per hour .. I have mountains of bills he's left for me and don't qualify for legal aid ? Any advise ?

2. Child - He refuses to budge on this aspect even though he has no income and has caused me and the child a lot of emotional abuse ?

3. Property - he says hell write the property in my name but I hardly believe him anymore , is this still legal and valid if he gives in writing
   I would be so grateful if you could give me some tips and advise on your experience .
   Mitgation - Does this help anyways ?
   I have tried doing some other court orders before myself and not been successful hence checking what's the best way forward keeping the costs down ?
   Also does all this take like 15 months ? Can this happen quickly ?

Hi Mum2680

I'm sorry to hear that you having a lot of issues trying to get your divorce sorted. My parents were divorced while I was in uni and I remember my mum worrying about the same issues. Now that I work in the legal field I wish that someone had given her this advice.

Divorce is generally divided into three sections:

1. Divorce

1. Child Arrangements

1. Finances

The costs of each of these stages can vary quite significantly depending on what your ex decides to do.

1. Divorce

The costs for divorce vary depending on whether or not your ex wants to fight the grounds on which you want to divorce him.

The court fee for divorce is: £410 but you might be able to get help with paying that fee. Check out this link:

hmctsformfinder.justice.gov.uk/courtfinder/forms/ex160a-eng-2015.11.pdf

Once you file the documentation, your ex has the right to submit a response . If he is reasonable, he will not contest the divorce.

You then need to apply for a decree nisi which means that you submit a statement supporting whatever grounds you are basing your divorce on.

Once that is done a judge will look at the documents and grant the decree nisi in open court. Six weeks after that you can apply for what is called a decree absolute and you are divorced.

If there is nothing complicated to deal with then you can expect the whole divorce process to take 3-5 months. The majority of that time is waiting for the court to read the papers.

Anyway if you know that your ex isn't going to object to the divorce then the whole process is quite simple.

1. Child Arrangements

This is a lot trickier as there is nothing more important than your kids. At our firm we always say that the best option is to agree contact with your ex. Get it in writing and stick to it. If you have any fears about your child's safety or well being then definitely seek advice. There are lots of helplines and charities for single mums that can advise you on what to do in your particular circumstances.

1. Finances

Again, try to avoid going to court. This is where the 15 months comes into play as it can take forever and an age to get a decision on finances. It sounds like your ex is willing to sign over the house to you. This doesn't require you going to court. The things to consider are:

1. Whose name is the mortgage in

1. Whose name the property is in at the land registry because this will need to be changed to.

The easiest way to deal with finances where there is no dispute is through a separation agreement.

Now here's the thing i wish my mum knew. This doesn't all have to be done at the same time. if you know that your ex is not going to contest the above then ask your solicitors for fixed fees and take it one step at a time.

File for divorce. Then 3-5 months later when that is done, submit the separation agreement. I'm sure you currently have a contact schedule for your ex to see your child. Put that in writing and make sure that he knows that you mean business where following it is concerned.

I hope this has helped and wish you all the best.

What does refusing to budge on child mean?
And why is a solicitor promising you "order for sole entitlement"?
If your husband wants access and you want to stop it because of emotional abuse, you need solicitors who specialise in that and I daresay it will cost you a lot more than £3K, depending on what evidence of abuse you have.

Thanks metaMatt,

Thank you for the information . Regarding the child , can you give me the names of the charity organisations who can provide me more information ?
Also regarding the property the mortgage and house are in our joint names and currently he does not have a job so I am paying all bills snd mortgage . However when I checked with a solicitor about the letter he was willing to give about the property in my name she said don't take it as it does not stand as an official document in courts ? Is that true ?

Why ask someone online (who could be anyone - no offence to the poster) to verify something that a solicitor has told you?

A personally devised document with him saying the property is yours would only give the court (in a later dispute) an indication of the parties intentions. You do not need a solicitor to create a contract - you do need one to ensure that the contract you had made was legally binding.

You also have to take legal steps to transfer a property to your sole name (I think it's form TR1 to update land registry). But there is a mortgage. It's not simply his property to give away - your mortgagor won't just release him from the mortgage, and he can't just "give away" the property (to you) that has a mortgage secured against it.

So him saying "oh I'll give you the property" means nothing. Your solicitor is right - do it properly.