how do I tell my husband i want to separate?

[Tingatingatale]

I have been married to my husband for ten years and we have been together for twenty. We have two young children .

We have a lot of issues in our marriage. He talks to me like crap and it's like living with Jekyll and Hyde. I never know what mood he is going to be in and I spend a lot of time walking on egg shells. We have slept in separate beds for the last six months because of children waking and I don't think we have had sex for at least a year and it's been sporadic since having children (6,4). I have no affection or love shown to me and haven't for a very long time. I miss this so much.

I don't think I love him anymore. Most days I don't I even like him and I think I am done. I fact I know I am done. We have talked before and it gets turned round on me and I end up feeling guilty and I don't mention it again

I can't do another twenty years like this though. In my head I am ready and have already done so much grieving for what we could have been. How do I tell him? I just can't find the words or the courage to say anything?

Is finding the words to end it scarier than the thought of another 20 years of this?

You could get some counselling on your own with relate to help you work through a split - they are there to help you get to an amicable future, not just to keep you together.

for you sa bring.

Sorry I meant for Sabrina

Yes quite, Sabrinas been spreading the new year cheer across a few threads tonight.

OP what do you want the next step to be? Who would move out? Do you have access to financial records, important documents like birth certificates & passports?

Will he let go graciously or turn it into a battle (the kind with no winners, only viciousness)? If so, you need to have a plan and have got all paperwork you need for custody and the financial split. Only then broach the subject,

Op I'm very sorry that you're going through this, I know how painful and scary it is. But I can promise you that whatever lies ahead in a future on your own (if that's what you decide on) will never be as lonely or frightening as the life you're currently living. My only regret was that I didn't do it years earlier.

Can you explain why it has been hidden please? There is nothing contentious at all in this post?

Thank you all for your replies. I have no idea how he will react. We have a second property which I will want to move into which makes it very complicated and I don't want to give details which may out me.

I regret massively not doing this sooner.

It means the post(s) by 'Sabrina', not yours. Spamming posts about love potions don't do anyone any favours

Thank you.

Oh and also, to answer your question, there's no easy way to do it, unfortunately

You just have to bite the bullet and do it, like ripping off a plaster. And you have to present it as a decision you've made, not something to be debated and discussed and so on and so forth.