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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Court and orders

19 replies

lavenderhoney · 16/11/2015 06:12

I am due in court soon and I can't afford my solicitor anymore. It's a bit scary as documents have to be ready and I don't know anything about what to do. Apparently I need a barrister as well but I can't afford one, is this essential?

My exdh is refusing to discuss anything and wants to go to court. I can't afford to go to court and would rather settle outside but he ignores me and says he will ruin me, making me pay all these bills

I have spoken to Carfass about the children's order which exdh had agreed to. He is is already messing about with it, do I need to tell Carfass or just assume he will always difficult.

It's taken me 2 years to get to this, a year to get the divorce after leaving My solicitors seem very slow. Does the process normally take this long?

OP posts:
Newbrummie · 16/11/2015 07:37

Don't be scared, I went to court over access and it was the best thing I did, he got his arse kicked, you can do the paperwork yourself, I paid £2500 for her to basically organise my notes, but it was all my work.
The judges generally are good decent people who see through BS really quickly .... Just be honest and you'll be fine

Newbrummie · 16/11/2015 07:37

I'm in year two with no real end in sight tbh

Marilynsbigsister · 16/11/2015 08:15

No op, you really don't need either a barrister or solicitor. You can self represent. This is becoming normal since the removal of legal aid in family matters and the judge will be familiar with this type of situation and helpful. Do not 'agree' anything with this snake in the grass outside court. Go to court and have your day, then let the judge decide what is fair. (They have heard it all before)

Moanranger · 16/11/2015 21:53

I recently dis instructed my solicitors. Like you, I am divorced , but in my case need to settle the finances. If you have a good case, basically wanting your fair share, then even the most expensive barrister on his side can't prevent that. Be ready forlotsof delaying tactics.
FWIW, I got a Makenzie friend, which has been helpful, but they are not cheap. Mine sat with me in court & reviewed all my docs & has provided support & advice as this plays out, costing£900.
I imagine if I have to appear in court again, I will need to fork out a similar amount,but it's all up in the air right now.

Original poster
lavenderhoney · 17/11/2015 07:14

Thank you, that's very encouraging. This is just about finances. The children's order is done, he refused to get involved as he's a busy man, and we are now divorced. There is no mediation as he won't do it.

Today I'm going to organise everything and start collating paperwork ready to send in a couple of weeks. I can't afford anyone, tbh. £900 is way out if my league. I can probably call the solicitor I had and pay for her to answer legal questions in an emergency Or write back to his solicitors and ask them to explain what they mean if they write in legalese. Can I do that?

OP posts:
Sprig1 · 17/11/2015 14:01

You will be fine. Just make sure you do your research and if you are not sure then ask. I am self representing and I have a book called 'The Family Court without a Lawyer - A Handbook for Litigants in Person' by Lucy Reed, which is extremely helpful and tells you what will happen at each stage. Is your court appearance that is coming up a First Appointment? I had mine yesterday so if it works out that I am one step ahead of you through the process I am happy for you to PM me and we can chat things through and I can advise what happened for me so you have some idea what to expect.

Original poster
lavenderhoney · 17/11/2015 19:06

Sprig, thanks so much. I have a first case coming up and the paperwork is tremendous. I can't even work out where I'm supposed to send it:(

OP posts:
Bellemere · 18/11/2015 20:38

£900 for one hearing moanranger?? You can get a junior barrister for that!

babybarrister · 19/11/2015 13:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Moanranger · 22/11/2015 15:35

Re £900. - that was for all doc review ( substantial!) beforehand; writing & editing various submissions AND the court appearance. She is also on call at the moment & I have had numerous telephone conversations & emails back & forth. So that is all I have paid in total for assistance up to, during & after FDR.
Even junior barristers are more expensive. Before I went Makenzie Friend route, I got quotes & the cheapest was £2500. They probably charge £400-500 for the appearance itself, but also charge to review case & provide other -outside of court - type support.

Bellemere · 22/11/2015 15:40

Not sure where you're looking. My experience for what you've stated is £250-300 for a McKenzie Friend and £1200 for a barrister who specialised in a particular issue. That includes reviewing all docs (extensive), pre hearing conference and multiple emails both before and after the hearing.

Original poster
lavenderhoney · 23/11/2015 06:23

Thanks, but I daren't take out a loan. Ex lives abroad outside the EU and doesn't see the DC ( a couple of holidays) And he has just announced he thinks he's going to be made redundant so an order won't be much use, and he would refuse anyway. He still owes money to the court for the divorce.

I can't afford even a Mackenzie friend and I actually don't have the time to organise it, my form e has to be in this week, and my solicitor couldn't think of a solution so the likelihood of me being able to is very low.

I have to say I'm very panicked. Not just with the form filling but everything. I can't afford to fight and have asked him to settle but he won't. He wants court and he wants me and the DC homeless and penniless.

He says its punishment for leaving him. He doesn't even have to go to the hearing and have all the stress and worry, miss work, organise childcare.

OP posts:
financialwizard · 23/11/2015 06:38

lavender I can't add anything of substance but I wanted to wish you luck with this. I'm going through a similar situation here and feel for you.

Original poster
lavenderhoney · 25/11/2015 09:42

Thank you - and I wish you well too.

OP posts:
Original poster
lavenderhoney · 26/11/2015 22:02

His lawyer says as we are so close to agreeing ( er, no we are not!, no idea where they got that from) they haven't prepared his form e which is due in court and with me in a few days is this weekend. Mine is good to go.

What do I say and what should I do if they don't send it on time? And what do I say to his lawyers? They emailed me tonight.

I will send mine, as per the court schedule- and we are due in court early Jan.

OP posts:
Moanranger · 27/11/2015 09:54

If you are prepared, then send yours in. I have complete sympathy with your position. I am normally a v strong person, but the financial settlement ( and mine is still on-going) had me curled up in a ball, weeping in corners, at times.
If he has not prepared his Form E, he will look v bad to the court.
Remember, the court will be on your side if he is trying to weasel out of a fair split.
Do you have a friend or acquaintance who can help you? Someone who is organised - good at admin?
Most of this is about just getting documents in, in the correct order, etc.
If you end up in court alone, simply explain to the judge in plain English your situation. His solicitor will look like a complete ass if he tries to take advantage of you. Good luck!

Original poster
lavenderhoney · 27/11/2015 22:33

Ive sent them in. They have to be in and we don't have an agreement, although he sent me a threatening email telling me to sign or else. I can't just sign. It's all very complicated.

Thanks though:) the support is invaluable.

OP posts:
3littlefrogs · 27/11/2015 22:40

Can you print the threatening email (and any others you have) to include with paperwork.

I imagine the judge will take a dim view of his threats.

thejanuarys · 03/12/2015 21:52

Just want to add - be very very careful. Ask if opposing side is going to put in a Position Statement, and if so, then ask for a copy to be given to you at least three days before hearing. Work out clearly what you are asking for and clear explanation as to why. Make sure that all these points are covered in court - and if there is something that is not covered, then make it known to the judge before the judgement is given. Sending you lots of positive vibes re going to court on your own. Good luck.

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