Self representation

[financialwizard]

I have paid a fixed fee to get the divorce sorted. Now I want to negotiate with my estranged husbands solicitor on the financials, although have taken initial advice, and the contact order he needs for work.

He is trying to force me to use a solicitor for it all but I don't have the money. How the hell do I force the issue?

You do not have to use a solicitor if you don't want to. Don't feel obliged. You may want to take advice about your financial options but that doesn't mean ongoing representation if you don't want it.
Solicitors want to negotiate with other lawyers because it's easier for them but this is about you.
You could suggest mediation for your negotiation. This would be your ex you and a mediator. They will ensure you understand your position fully by giving legal information as to your rights and how the law works but not specific advice.

Good luck

Thanks. I have suggested mediation but he is angry and not interested.

The solicitor that is dealing with my divorce said I can seek her advice at any stage and has already suggested an opening point for negotiations.

You don't need a solicitor - even if it's complicated you are perfectly entitled to represent yourself. I did for 7 of the 9 years of my court stuff with my exh.

That sounds positive! Stay calm and take time if you need to. Seek a trusted person who you can bounce ideas off. Seeking too many points of view can cause you more confusion. Listen to your gut and when it comes to money, know your numbers! Know what you need and why you need it. Know how much it will cost to house and feed yourself etc. Knowing these numbers in advance will make the negotiations easier.

Oh god Swish don't tell me that. I think I might have a breakdown if it goes on that long!!!

Mind you he says he wants it completed in the next few months, so fingers crossed it will be!!!

DA thankfully that is my area of expertise so I am very well prepared on that front.

Excellent Financialwizard you'll find it so much easier than many!

I am having trouble trying to get any kind of response from his solicitor. Is there anything I can do to get her to engage with me?

The solicitor might be trying to get a response from their client (your ex) before responding.

Although if it has been some time they should acknowledge your communication and explain that they are awaiting instruction.

As a general rule of thumb try and correspond in writing, email is ok, and 'sign of' with:

' I look forward to your response by return'

Yours sincerely/Kind regards.

Assuming that you may have already done the above.

Send a simple reminder/chaser enclosing original correspondence.

One or two lines will do 'I enclose/attach email/letter of (date) to which I am yet to receive a response'.

Hope this helps

The ex is telling me that he hasn't been contacted by her (I accept this may not be true).

I will send a chaser next week.

Thank you.