can he do this? how can I respond?

[CherryPicking]

I filed for divorce and received a reply saying yes marriage has broken down irretrievably but no he won't accept unreasonable behaviour w as the cause. He says he won't contest but reserves the right to deny unreasonable behaviour and to use examples of my unreasonable behaviour at later date. I also have to accept a contribution of £500 towards divorce costs. I don't have 500 decking quid - I've already paid the solicitor £1000 to divorce him! What can I do?

I should add that he earns 7 times what I do. How the feck can he ask me to pay his costs? And on what grounds?

if you are staying out of the courts and he signs to say he will accept then there's really no problem, you don't have to pay his costs. To be honest if it's just the divorce you pay your own costs. However if there's children or marital assets to be divided and you go through court then this is different.

A divorce can happen without the need for court, you can even do it without solicitors.

good luck.

Here is my (novice ) understanding.

You can file under unreasonable behaviour and it is unusual for it to be rejected by the other party. However it can happen. Your ex can basically cross petition and cite unreasonable behaviour against you. A judge will then review each petition and make a call. (It won't be viewed favourably by the judge as something like this is just oneupmanship). The judge may also tell him to cover your legal costs to appear in court if he judge thinks the STBXH is time wasting

Or you can withdraw your petition and let him file. Legally (so I have been told) this doesn't put you in weaker position. what it gives the other party however is control of the timeline it will take to divorce, they can drag their heels.

My advice is based on the fact that I was nearly in this position and this is what my lawyer has told me. I wanted to be in control of the timeline so pressed ahead with the petition and took the risk that my STBXH may cross petition. He didn't.

I don't believe you can be made to cover half of his legal costs btw!!! Are you going via lawyers or doing this yourself?

Are you sure your ex is not being asked to pay half of the legal costs? Mine was last month and I have already paid the full fixed fee.

It sounds like he is saying he won't contest the divorce, but doesn't accept the actual allegations. It is quite a standard response. Did it come from his solicitors? And saying you have to accept a contribution of £500 towards divorce costs, sounds like they are offering to pay that to you. Did you include a claim for costs on your petition?