Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Move away or stay?

9 replies

Frecklesandspecs · 13/09/2015 11:02

Need some advice again please.
H and me are separating. We have a house we've lived in for 3 years with three young kids (under 6).
Oldest is in yr one, one in nursery, other at home.
Anyway, when we married we moved to London for h's work. I've never really had any friends or family here.
H is wanting me to stay in the house and he moves out somewhere else in London. His argument is about the kids and that this is their house and their inheritance.
I've never been very happy living in London, but I know I've got to do what is best for them.
I know if I move away (aprox 3 hours) I'd be supported by family and we'd come every other weekend.
I am not on the mortgage or deeds to the house either so no say in when it's sold?
H works pretty much every hour God sends so his life revolves around it and I feel we're being made to stay for convenience.

He rarely does anything with the kids and usually sits working all weekend. In the week, they are always in bed before he comes home.
I don't want this to go sour, I just want to try and do it amicably but am I asking too much?

OP posts:
Lweji · 13/09/2015 11:10

As they are so young, what's best for them is often what's best for their main carer.
Would he be supportive should you stay in London?
Wouldn't the children benefit more from close by relatives than an absent father?

Regarding the house, I'd seek legal advice to protect your part in it.
You could force a sale or offer him to buy to buy.

So, I might give it a go, where he rents elsewhere and see how it works out for a few months. If you don't get enough support you move away.

BeautifulBatman · 13/09/2015 11:13

Re the house, regardless of the names on deeds etc, as it's the marital home you do indeed have an interest in it. Register your interest via land registry so nothing can happen to it without your consent.

AuntieStella · 13/09/2015 11:14

As you say 'H', then the house will count as a marital asset and you get a share in it. You need to see a solicitor to discuss your situation.

The interests which come first in deciding who lives where are those of the children, and maintaining contact with both parents. It would be no more reasonable for you to move them away from him as it would be for him to up sticks and take them a distance from you. Your ideas of what hypothetical support might be available to you three hours away do not outweighs your children's stability and right to a relationship with both parents.

Your DC are settled in London.

Can you look instead to how you can improve your life where you are? You may find that ditching the H opens all sorts of new possibilities for you.

Frecklesandspecs · 13/09/2015 11:26

Ok, I am going to speak to a solicitor tomorrow actually which should help me.

OP posts:
Frecklesandspecs · 13/09/2015 13:37

Well I came to the conclusion it was best if I stay, went to say this and he's changed his mind. He wants me to leave them with him and I move out!! Not looking rosy!

OP posts:
Lweji · 13/09/2015 13:40

Did you also tell him to FOTTFSOFAFOSM?

Do get legal advice.

Although it would be interesting to see how he'd cope with the kids on his own. Sounds like empty suggestions to piss you off.

Frecklesandspecs · 13/09/2015 13:47

In as much Lweji, but still made me feel like shite! I'd be interested too, he can't usually manage 5 minutes!

OP posts:
Lweji · 13/09/2015 13:49

Brace yourself for more like that coming. :(

Frecklesandspecs · 13/09/2015 13:51

One of the main reasons me moving out was his mood swings and manipulative stuff. Should have known better!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page