Advice re family home needed please....

[gonenative76]

Hi all

Bit of a long post this so please bear with me!

My ex husband and I divorced amicably almost 4 years ago.

Our original divorce settlement stated that the family home should be sold within 12 months and the equity split 50/50, but his business has subsequently become very successful (earlier this year he bought a £750,000 house with a £300,000 deposit) so he has been relaxed about this and kindly let me stay.

I live in the family home with our 2 children (now aged 6 and 11), and although his name remains on the mortgage, I have paid all the interest only mortgage payments myself since our divorce, and have never missed a payment. I also pay for all home improvements / home maintenance costs etc.

My ex has the kids 50% of the time, but gives me generous maintenance of £800 / month, which covers childcare.

Recently though, he has been saying he may need to have his equity released by me selling or remortgaging the house, or if that isn't possible for me at present, that I stay in the house until our youngest child is 18, on the condition that he then receives 50% of the equity at that time.

I have several questions about this - is it fair for him to get 50% in 12 years time, if he is not contributing towards the mortgage or home maintenance / improvements, or would it be fairer to specify a fixed amount / negotiate a lower percentage?

Would it be feasible for me to no longer receive or reduce maintenance payments from him, thereby reducing his equity stake?

Or is there another solution that I haven't yet thought of? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

A few extra details -

My mortgage is £330,000, and the house was recently valued at at least £620,000.

I put in an investment of £20,000 when we bought the house before this one, in 2005, for £250,000, so we have agreed that I would get this back on selling the house - should this amount have accrued interest in this time?

I am self employed, with my own limited company, drawing profits of around £40,000 per year, so I would not be able to get a big enough remortgage on our house to release his equity on my earnings, and I would be very unlikely to get a mortgage big enough to buy an adequate house if we had to sell.

Are you not just delaying the inevitable though? At some point you are going to have to sell. You are not paying off capital so really you are chucking all that money a month down the toilet when you could be putting it towards paying off a mortgage on your own place.

If it were me I'd go back to the original agreement, if your ex has more money now I don't think it relevant just like I don't think you should give your ex any extras if you won the lottery.

I personally would not wait for him to start pursuing his interests in the property via legal action. It would be stressful and expensive if you tried to renegotiate. I'm not a solicitor but why do you think you should receive more now? If your ex became bankrupt would you agree to give him a bigger share?

You have to face it you can't afford to live there and you need to get your head around moving. Go speak with a mortgage adviser see what they will agree to lend you, add that to any deposit you are likely to have from sale of the property and start the ball rolling.

Hi captain

Thanks for your response.

Yes I suppose I am delaying the inevitable - but what that means is being in a nice house, in a nice area, for the next 12 years, and downsizing then rather than now. I know nothing is certain, but properties in this area have consistently gone up in value since we moved here and I suspect will continue to, because of its location and proximity to town / transport links, etc., so although I am not paying off the capital, the equity will hopefully continue to grow.

I have already sought mortgage advice, and for what I would get, I would be able to buy a nice 2 bed / ropey 3 bed flat close to the kid's schools, or a 3 bed house on the outskirts of town. So I guess it makes more sense to me to stay put even given the fact that we remain financially connected and I'm not able to make repayments......

Roughly 20k was 10% of the property value. So 650k gives you a return of 60k ... this needs to be in writing. I thought you were entitled to a bigger share if you have DC? What does your solicitor say?

You already have a settlement. Your ex would be well in us rights to demand it is followed to the letter. I don't think you can get him to agree to anything else. I am sure that you will find a solicitor willing to take your money to pursue your ex for more money. I am sure though that he could quite easily stop paying you anything at all until a new settlement is reached.

Your children and you will survive on the edge of town in a ropey house, like the majority of folks do. It will not kill you.

House prices and interest rates go up as well as down. Have you thought about that? What happens if your ex can not afford to wait until your children have left home? What happens if they chose to live with him 100% of the time in a few years?

Can you not see the emotional benefit of not being tied to your ex lik this. You need to face reality.

I would absolutely see a solicitor.

Of course he is happy to let you stay there because you are bloody paying for it and he is seeing it as a lump sum investment once the mortgage is paid!

Now if he was that kind he would let you stay forever but he isn't. He is telling you once it's paid for he wants you out with half of the profits!

His financial position has changed greatly, therefore he can afford greater things. I would see a solicitor just for an hour to see if you can take this anywhere.

You might think 800£ is generous but actually in comparison to his earnings it might just be what you are owed even if he is having them half the time.

Ask him to reconsider his offer.

Maybe 70/30. Tell him otherwise if you sell now he will only get x amount. Tell him if he does it in the future he will get x amount.

So a judge actually said you need to pay all mortgage costs but he still gets 50% ??

That is crazy. I'm finding that hard to believe

But they had to sell up in 12 months not until kids left home. So perhaps 50/50 was fair, and it was before his financial fortunes changed.

Thanks all of you for your advice.

As captainproton said, the 50/50 thing was agreed when we were planning to sell within 12 months of the settlement, so needs re-assessing with this new arrangement, irrespective of his financial fortune (or misfortune).

There was never a judge involved, just an online solicitor as I recall - and I was daft enough to sign the settlement without reading the fine print because my ex has always been a fair and generous man - I would obviously have been in a better bargaining position had I expressed any misgivings at the time!

I know that I'm in a really fortunate position, and if I had to move it wouldn't be the end of the world, but I'm definitely going to see a solicitor and see what my options are - and clarify how much my 20K investment is currently, and will potentially, be worth.

I'll keep you posted!

Gonenative I assumed you had taken legal advice before the settlement, perhaps you should see a solicitor after all, but I wouldn't automatically assume any ex partner to be fair and reasonable. However I'm not sure whether you can go back in the settlement or not. Perhaps it's possible if not court ordered. What I think you are seeking is a mesher order.

I think then you may have been a bit too trusting. Find a good solicitor and see what they say.

You didn't even read the settlement?
You didn't have a solicitor of your own when you have children and a large asset (existing home, even before his business success)?

Don't make the same mistake twice.

Do you definitely have a Consent Order? So all finances settled?

Don't make the same mistake again, see a solicitor.

I must be missing something here.
If your Ex has agreed to let you keep the house until the youngest is 18 why is that unreasonable?
It seems logical to me that he'd be entitled to 50% when it's sold, when ever that is, if that's what the original agreement was.
Yes, you are paying the mortgage, but you (and your children) are getting the benefit of living in the house, and without him leaving his substantial share you couldn't afford to live in such a nice house.
The fact his business has gone well since the divorce is irrelevant unless you haven't got a Consent Order.
As all the others have said, get legal advise.