Is spousal maintenance realistic ?

[Newbrummie]

Basically I have our kids 24/7 ... 365.
He pays the absolute bare minimum set out by the CSA and tried to deduct a outstanding debt from that.
He's had the car ... I am supposed to be getting 100% of the house and am paying the mortgage and arrears on that, have been for the past 3 years. His pensions worth bugger all and more trouble than it's worth. He's constantly loosing his job, hence I felt whilst he's in work I should get spousal support. He's financially ruined me.

The solicitors I've spoken to basically tell me nobody gets it anymore. I'm a full time student as of September trying to rebuild the mess he dumped us in. Is it not worth a try ?

No it's not realistic, sorry.

What makes you say that out of interest ?

Er change your solicitors. Obviously you can't get money out of a stone but people can and do get spousal maintenance. I did. divorced in December 2013.

Yeah I have to say I think I'd rather have the court order than not ... Knowing my luck he'll land an amazing job the day after I agree to nothing

My friend gets spousal maintenance (awarded about a year and a half ago - so it's not true that noone gets it anymore) in addition to child maintenance. If the court deems that you made a career sacrifice for the marriage/family then you have a chance.

I kept the man for nearly 6 years

Spousal maintenance is for people (women, in general) who have sacrificed their career for the good of the family - ie given up work to raise the children, or having supported the other spouse in their career by doing the housekeeping/childcare.

If you have 'kept' him within the marriage, I would be doubtful you'd have a claim. If you can show you have taken a 'hit' on your income or earning potential, because of the marriage, then you will have a claim - but it wouldn't cover compensation for supporting him for 6yrs while you were married.

I've just got spousal maintenance & he's paying my mortgage until my youngest is out of full-time education (minimum of 15 years).

This was based on the fact that my exH is a high earner (100k+) & that I'd sacrificed my career for his as he worked away. My youngest is still only 3, so that was a factor too.

He lives over 90 miles away, so he can't help with any childcare during the week.

I've just got a job that starts in September - part-time teaching. The spousal maintenance won't go on indefinitely - once I'm established working & my youngest is at school, then it will stop.

Married 10 years ... I've had to give up my job completely now as he refuses to have anything to do with the children beyond skyping them

I'm 40 the youngest is 5 yrs

Sounds really hard on you, Newbrummie. Try a different solicitor - worth a shot, as you say.

I don't think you have much hope. Spousal maintenance is usually about wives ( rarely husbands) who have given up a potential good carrier to enable husbands high fling highly paid salary. If ex dh has nothing to give, you have no hope of being supported, if he does, then you do. Otherwise you are on your own. Sorry :(

I know hence I'm sitting back and waiting a bit to see what happens. I'm securing my position as much as I can with the house, the CSA will sort the kids but let's face it he can't be living on fresh air forever he's in a forgein country for a start, if he doesn't work he has no visa

Get a job and support yourself. Being a sahm is a choice you made at the time it's now not viable. Women with school age children don't need to be at home.

From the sounds of it: You didn't give up your job to support him and help him to maintain his career, you gave given up your job due to the pressures of being a single parent and I therefore think it is unlikely that you will qualify for spousal maintenance.