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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

In desperate need of advice!

1 reply

earlycomputers · 15/05/2015 13:41

What should I do? Currently living with my ex dp in same house - it's very big so we are lucky enough to have separate bedrooms/living rooms. I have 3 dcs. Ex dp hates one of my dc's and this particular dc hates ex dp. The other 2 dcs and ex dp get along fine. I am debating whether and when to move out with all my dcs as I don't think the animosity between ex dp and dc is good (it's been there for many years since birth). Ex dp hates me aswell so part of the hatred of his dc could be because of his feeling towards me. He is basically emotionally abusive to me and the one dc. Neither myself nor ex dp have new partners. I would also like to move out because ex dp and I have too many disagreements/issues (hence the split in the first place). To make matter worse, ex dp has said that if I move out, he will spend every penny he has fighting me in court to get 50% access to the kids (this is money that could be better spent on the kids). He said it didn't matter whether he loses in court - he just wants to make a point. I have always said that I would allow him to see the kids at least 2 days a week (which is more than he sees them at the moment), and I would move to the same town so not be far away. So, my question is, should I move out and risk this court battle (with the inherent huge costs - in spite of the fact that he would most probably not get the 50% access on many grounds)? The dc who hates ex dp and vice versa, actually loves the house and would not like to leave it. Unfortunately even if ex dp left the house, I could not afford the mortgage on my own.
From the dc's perspective, what would be the best for them - i.e. move out or stay? Would it be more emotionally damaging for the 2 dcs who get along well with ex dp to move away, or more damaging for the 1 dc whom he hates, to stay in the house? many thanks in advance!

OP posts:
Purpledaisy3 · 15/05/2015 14:01

IMHO it sounds like your ex needs to grow up!

I'd probably side with moving out, if you can't keep the house on your own anyway. It can't be nice for any of the DC if there are arguements and falling out at home all the time. Even if they like the house doesn't mean you won't find another that they'll love just as much.

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