Divorce and splitting of assets

[JoA2105]

Hello,

I'm posting here to see if someone from the community can give me some sound advice as to how to move forward with regards to my divorce settlement? I've read Mumsnet for a while now and thought it might be a good place to start as I find the whole solicitors route both hugely expensive and horribly complicated.

My ex-husband and I have reached an agreement regarding me staying in our family home and him keeping his pension… when I sell the house I will be able to keep the same value from the proceeds (after mortgage paid off etc etc) as the value of his pension.

There are a few other bits and pieces that we are niggling over (aren't there always?!!!) but the one area that I could really do with some advice on is how we calculate the division of some shares that we have.

We have approximately £90,000 worth of loan notes with a company that he used to work for that, mature in 2018.

My ex-husband currently has all of the paper work for these and they are distributed as £60,000 in his name and £30,000 in mine, although I have no idea as to why they were distributed that way, sadly I used to let him do all of the paperwork. I know, I know!

We have, over the years, used the dividends to fund a holiday abroad each year, and until it came to the nitty gritty of the dividing of assets I assumed, wrongly in his eyes it seems, that they were a family asset. Since our separation he has had the dividends until I raised this when we were discussing our Financial Consent Order.

My ex-husband maintains that the final division of these assets should maintain the same ration of 2 to 1 as he will be taxed at 40% and I will not be taxed as I am currently on the bottom rung re earnings and am in receipt of tax credits.

Is there anyone on here who can advise on this? Do the divorce courts divide such assets up without tax in mind or is he correct that we have to end up with an equal share after tax has been calculated?

I've tried to be really fair with regards to everything that we are trying to sort out… it can be difficult at times as he has rather a dominant personality and can overwhelm me a bit during our meetings.

My main concern, as is most mums I'm sure, is that of my three boys. I want to be fair to their Dad so that we can at least be civil to each other when we do our hand overs of the boys each week, but by the same token I am finding it a bit of a struggle making ends meet and really every penny does count.

I really would like to get the consent order agreed so we can both get on with our lives and give our boys as stable an upbringing as possible, but this drags on and on.

If necessary, I will speak to the solicitor again, but the last invoice literally blew me away… and that was just for one letter.

Thanks in anticipation of some helpful advice.

Jo :0)

Depends on how long you were married for, kids etc, ages, work, health, etc Starting point is 50:50 on everything, then depending on above solicitors or court or mediation to settle. Check out wikivorce as a starting point advice wise.

I thought the value of a pension was about a quarter or fifth of its value as it were as it's not real cash. Eg if he took it all as cash at 65 and had nothing to live off in retirement about 40%+ of the fund would be taken as tax. So pension sums are not the equivalent of cash on divorce but if doesn't know that great if it means you get more equity from the house!

As for income from the asset you mention or indeed if you had a rented flat usually you would not be sharing that but it sounds like until they mature these loan notes cannot be given to one or other of you. So how you share that income will be up to the two of you to negotiate. Certainly if he is paying loads of tax on that income and you aren't then a fair division should be after tax but it's really up to the couple to agree. I earned 10x my ex so my consent order clean break would not be the same as yours.

Roughly what are the values - equity in house after mortgage, capital amount of loan notes when they mature, capital value of pension fund?

You can own £30K in shares but still get tax credits?
System is fucked.

Thanks for your replies.

Cabrinha… I understand your point but they're not shares, they're loan notes. They can't be cashed for another 3 and a bit years.

They were bought when we were a married couple when my husband had a very good wage and they were heavily discounted as they were for the company he worked for. So, although the value on paper is that amount, they cost quite a bit less and were bought gradually over a period of many years. And there is no guarantee they will be valued at that when they do mature.

We are now divorced and I have to support our 3 children on part time hours at the minimum wage… were it not for tax credits I don't know how I would manage.

I understand the point you make, but the reality is very different for me I can assure you.

JoA I need to apologise to you, I'm sorry that my message could easily seem mean - and even if not mean, wasn't helpful. And I'd wrongly thought they were shares, too.

I actually wrote two messages, and it's only your reply making me notice this again that makes me realise the second didn't post for some reason!

I wouldn't have blamed you if you'd told me to bog off

My second reply... I'm too tired to remember it all... I agreed with others about needing legal advice despite the cost
But my main point was about being fair, to remain civil.
It's my view, and actually my experience too, that men are either fair and civil or they're not. You do say about him shouting you down in mediation... And frankly, if you're dealing with someone who is not the civil and fair type, playing fair - or rather, giving up more than you should - won't actually get you the benefit. You end up with the same uncivil personality - and a worse settlement. So whilst I think you're right to try not to be antagonistic, you REALLY mustn't sell yourself and your boys short.

Good luck with it.

That one posted

I am not a solicitor but as I see it they are a family asset and should be split 50:50. Who pays what in tax doesn't come in to it any more than it did for the value of then house or pension. Stand firm.