What did you do when you first saw the OW?

[EveryDayTheSame]

Did you say anything? Or ignore her?

I just saw the OW for the first time, I didn't say a thing to her, I stood next to her as I don't think she knew who I was at first, but she left the shop as soon as she realised...

Just interested on other reactions?

Bump

That's an odd meeting. Had you been stalking her?

That sounds very difficult. You have my utmost sympathy. I'm not sure I could trust myself if I met the OW again now I know how vile and self-centred she is. Also think I'd want to remind her of the pain she has caused my children.

Sorry OP on reading that back now it sounds like I was trivialising what must have been really painful for you.

How did you both end up in the same place and how come you knew her? Are you alright? Sorry I haven't been in this situation before so can't relay any experiences.

It was totally by chance. Bound to happen one day as we don't live far from each other. I didn't know what to do my heart was racing. I wanted to say something but my DC were there so would have been totally inappropriate.

I think you did the right thing, keeping quiet, there's nothing to say really (i'm sure you had a lot you'd have liked to say!) but you handled it with dignity though quivering inside. Its your dh really that you need to vent at, she on the other hand was a guilty coward, hence her hasty departure.

I can't imagine what it must have been like trying to compose yourself in front of your dc as well. I suppose if i were in your shoes, my first thought would be, "this is the person causing me so much pain' and 'why?'

As bitchy as this may sound, I was quite pleased that she looked awful!! No make up, scruffy hair etc! And I had actually made an effort with myself today, it was like it was meant to be! Haha.

No point venting - just makes them feel justified in their revolting behaviour. I wish I'd said nothing to my VH but somehow I just couldn't help thinking that he needed to have the implications pointed out to him and that I might gain some insights into the motivation. Waste of breath and made me feel rubbish.

There are no ways to introduce morality into the mind of a hedonist.

EveryDayTheSame - I'm glad she was looking awful! Just for you and your self-esteem - just what you need.

You absolutely done the right thing. I done exactly the same thing. The first time I saw her was when I took my DS to see his dad when he was 4yrs. We'd been split up for a year and a half. However what I didn't expect was for her to have a serious attitude problem and to then start shouting at me as if I'd been the OW. This happened in front of DS and it was the first time since splitting that he had seen his dad (his dad's choice... He had wanted a fresh start, new life and no baggage) so he was already very nervous. This made him a whole lot worse. To top it all, this marvellous display was outside of a contact centre which we were using because I was very anxious about allowing xp unsupervised contact.

fairylights I did the same as you but by email. Made not a blind bit of difference to the outcome. They are entirely focused on themselves and therefore anyone not for them is against them.

Makes me shake with despair.