Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Do they ever come back, after leaving for another woman ?

2 replies

Bambino1234 · 31/03/2015 09:41

My partner left me at the end of December, it was a shock, we had a lot of changes happening in January and were looking forward to a positive start to the year and finally breaking free from a live in job that he had had for the last six years.

After he broke off with me, he maintained there was no one else, he just felt that he wasn't in love with me anymore although he loved me and I was his best friend. A few days later it came to light that he had been having an emotional affair with one of his colleagues, secret meetings before work and after , hundreds of texts and phone calls every day even on Xmas day!!
He denies this is the reason he wanted out of the relationship but it seems all to common that men only leave when they have had their head turned to something "better".

I'm not sitting around for him to come back, I have a new house that has no reminders of him, I have moved jobs and I am back living in my home town - in some ways I am richer than I have ever been and I am beginning to see some of the me I was years ago.

My question is, do they ever come back?! Obviously it has been three months and I am not waiting for him, as far as I am concerned he has not only left me he has left the children too ( For those who say he has left you not the children, for a man who never once said he was unhappy with his life - yes he was with his job and we were actively trying to make that part of his life easier!) And a man who could do that on such a whim with no warning is not worthy of sharing every day with them! I am mostly just wondering if they ever come crawling back and we scorned women can say you made your bed now go lie in it ?!

OP posts:
TiredAndConfused22 · 31/03/2015 11:47

I'm sure there are some that do. Mine won't as he was having an affair with a man and is now living with someone (different to the one he cheated with). I bet there are even more, though, that look back at what they had and regret leaving, but don't say anything as they dont want lose face, and know that their ex partner wouldn't take them back in a million years. You sound like you've done amazingly well to get all that stuff sorted in just a few month. Wow, well done :-)
Perhaps some counselling would help if you are being distracted by thoughts of your ex and what might/may still be? Though it's such early days.
I agree with you about the children by the way. Yes my ex still sees them every other weekend but having chosen to move 40 mins away he has limited himself to brief holiday/weekend interactions. If he had really wanted to remain integral to their lives he could have chosen to live close by and have much make time with them (I haven't limited access as I want what's best for the kids and they love seeing their dad). so yes, I would say he left 'us' not just 'me' too.

STIDW · 31/03/2015 12:43

Of course they don't come crawling back. There are many reasons for affairs and they happen in happy relationships as well as those where there has been problems. It isn't just men who have affairs. Reconciliation is only possible if a couple are willing to work together without blame to try to understand why the affair happened.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page