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I ve --fucked-- up haven't i ? Long sorry:-(

4 replies

Brownsofa · 29/03/2015 21:35

I don't really know where to start so bear with me pls.

After splitting up with dh after 6 rocky years(together 10) we decided to split.
All was ok, he got his own place and we set in place child arrangements etc.did not consisder divorce as basically could not afford to.
But it was going well enough.touches of envy on my part as he was seeminly able to get on with being a single man again and no remorse sadness over our splitting.i took a lot longer but had got to resonably good frame of mind.
Anyway due to a family holiday booked by my parents for us all(im not going on it now but that's another story) it meant money would be tight , very tight.
His tenancy on home was coming to an end and somehow we decided it may be better if we houseshared to save costs.
That was october...
Now I'm bordering on depression again as I just can't cope with the situation.i hate it when he's home. He's a lazy slob who does nothing and we argue at weekends when forced to try share time in the house.
I know I have done this to myself but in October he seemed like a changed person, now he's back here he's returned to his arsehole ways.
We ve got to put up with this Situ till July:-( and I resent the fact the family member put me in a situ where I felt I needed to do this to save money an im now feeling so down that my life has paused.
I watch other ppl getting on with life,making plans for the future.
I'm stuck in a job I hate, someone I hate sharing with , I'm about to turn 40 this year and feel like im probably gonna be alone forever now as this man has fucked me up mentally.and this is my 2nd time around of being split up.
My 1st husband an I were childhood sweethearts and just got fed up after 13 yrs and a lot of growing up plus a child.but that ended an I had no feelings like this.
I feel I been robbed of my 30s trying to make this work:-(
I don't really know how anyone can help? Has anyone been in this situation? Did it get better?
I have been on a few dates through od but decided meeting ppl ol was not for was too much of a numbers game to find half decent ones!

OP posts:
Bibasbottom · 25/04/2015 21:32

If you really have no other option then I would focus on making it through to July.

Try and separate yourself from him as much as possible regarding housework.

July is not far away and you have a whole new life in front of you.

Be kind to yourself.


ovumahead · 25/04/2015 21:37

This is a tricky situation! I can't really see what options you have other than figuring out a way of toughing it out until July. However, in the grand scheme of things, July isn't sooooo long away. It will be May next week! Is there a definite moving out date for him? Can you develop a rota for housework or divvy up the jobs so it's fair? Have you spoken to him about this situation? If not, can you? Either way, you need to have some kind of clear plan in mind of what you'd like to happen over the next few weeks to make it bearable for to you both.

ovumahead · 25/04/2015 21:38

Also... Your parents ought to help you out, it sounds as though they're partly responsible for the current situation...?

YourKidsYourRulesHunXxx · 25/04/2015 21:44

Keep yourself busy darling, July will come before you know it. Use this as a perfect excuse to get out and do stuff. You don't sound like you have much confidence.
Have you got some pals you can go and spend the evening with/ spend the night with when he is being particularly slobbish and difficult?

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