Please help me try to work this out. XH and I have 2 children ages 5 and 8. At the time of separation we sold the house and split the equity 50/50. He has the children EOW plus one weekday night and pays the CSA/CMS minimum maintenance payment.
XH has always refused to pay any extra for childcare, he says this is included in his maintenance payment. He knows it couldn't possibly cover it but says that's my problem and he's not obliged to pay anything extra. We both work FT so childcare costs are considerable. I wanted to stay amicable so I found a breakfast/after school club and have been paying the bill for all weekdays for the last year. I don't cover his Friday collection/Monday drop-off when it's his weekend.
Yesterday the childcare manager gave me a month's notice that she is closing the club, but she said she would be happy to be my nanny in a private arrangement- all still legal and Ofsted compliant. I advised XH that he would need to make his own arrangements for his contact days. He has hit the roof, saying his maintenance covers all childcare and that when he has to pay on his Friday's or Mondays that is to help me out. He does not think that his weekday contact day should be at his expense.
I want to be fair- no way do I want to take more money from him than I need. But also the children will need care for the next 7 or so years and so I need to be sure neither of us are getting a rough deal.
My solicitor says the 50/50 equity split was fair to him so he should be happy to pay his share of childcare, but he just isn't so do I push the issue which I assume will mean involving the courts or is he right and I should be paying for his childcare too? And how does that even work when my preference would be to try this nanny option? He lives 40 mins away from me and the potential nanny is local to me. We both earn good salaries. He doesn't appear to be struggling- last year the childcare came out of my overdraft while he was planning diving trips in the Cayman Islands, I drive a 4 year old small car, he has a brand new 35k 4x4. So he has got the means to pay this, he just doesn't see it as his duty.
To put some figures into it, he gives me 550/month. Childcare is 800/month at the moment but this will probably change with a nanny arrangement. So his payment does help but it doesn't cover everything else if that makes sense- uniform, school meals, coats, shoes, school trips, clubs, food etc.
Does anyone have any experience?