Ex's 'new' girlfriend

[Clare1564]

Looking for advice and not been on the site before so bear with me. I have been divorced for several years now, reasonably amicably, and my 2 children (13 and 10) split their time between me and their dad. I am with a long term partner, and the kids have always coped well with the situation. Soon after we split, when I met my new partner, my ex also spent a couple of years with a girlfriend. She was lovely, great with the kids and I did not feel threatened by her in any way. I wasn't her friend exactly, but viewed her as a safe pair of hands, if you like.

Now, I have recently found out my ex has been having an affair with a married woman (with 2 kids) who happens to be someone he had an affair with before we were married. We had been together 4 years, and they had a fling which I found out about and was devastated about. Then they went their separate ways and we were married the following year.

So now she is back on the scene, and I can't bear the thought of her getting to know my children. It has brought up such a lot of negative feelings for me about the past, and how betrayed I felt. I want my ex to be happy, I really do, just not with her. I realise I have no power in this situation, but I need advice on how to handle it. If you can follow the above (I know it's complicated!) then let me know your thoughts.

[ressyHedMair]

Blimey.

Chances are your children won't warm to her. They're probably going to be left wondering where the other woman disappeared to. Or is he still officially with the woman you think is a safe pair of hands. I'd say he sees this married woman as somebody to cheat with, repeatedly. Is he on the point of introducing her to his children.......... It seems unlikely. But then, I've read stranger on here.

[Clare1564]

He's been single for a few years now, so he isn't cheating on anyone, and is available. He told me he won't introduce my children for a while, but he has told them about her (though I'm guessing not the details)