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Divorce/separation

Ex-Partner not responding to solicitors letters

9 replies

loumaria · 12/02/2015 09:20

Hi, my partner and I separated over a year ago and I am still in the home with 3 young children. He does however still come and go as he pleases (still has key) and has been in a new relationship for 9 months or so now.
Mediation failed as it would have left myself and the children vulnerable (he is only interested in selling the house so he can have his 50% - we weren't married). I have since found a solicitor to try and move things forward. It took months for us to exchange financial information as he dragged his heels and now he is ignoring letters with a suggestion to sell the house and a proposed split.
My question really is what next steps should be - should I just take it to court (I will have to represent myself) as he isn't cooperating or trying to resolve anything. I'm feeling very frustrated. He doesn't contribute anything financially and only sees the children on a Saturday for the day. I just want some closure so I can get on with my life. He refuses to communicate about anything, is completely unsupportive as a parent and is completely disrespectful and nasty when he is in the house.
I realise I need to run this by my solicitor, but it's expensive and I thought i would get some input here first.
Also, my solicitor is trying to contact his solicitor to find out what is going on but she is not responding either!!

OP posts:
DeliciousMonster · 12/02/2015 09:21

What needs resolving? Are you selling the house? Can you buy out his share?

LaurieFairyCake · 12/02/2015 09:31

What might be more useful is a prohibited steps or occupation order so that you can live there without him coming round - your solicitor can do that without him.

Try not to see him, get somewhere else agreed for hangovers - get someone else to do it. Public place maybe?

If you get an order to say the house is yours to live in til it's decided then you can just wait for him to do it - he will soon go to court or his solicitor when he realises he has to

loumaria · 12/02/2015 10:05

Yes, I'm going to agree to sell but want more than 50% as I am the main carer. Solicitor doesn't think this will be a problem as children need secure housing. He's simply not playing ball with anything.
I didn't know i could get an occupation order while we decide on split - is this possible? He has ignored letters re. access / staying out of the house and basically enjoys the fact i'm spending money on letters that he then ignores. I am tempted to take him to court (pretty sure it will go in our favour) as I'm fed up with his games and think the outcome will be better for us that way.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 12/02/2015 10:29

Definitely ask your solicitor if you can get an occupation order.

How much is he harassing you or being abusive?

Molly333 · 15/02/2015 11:09

He's bullying you by not complying , he's hoping you will give in by making your life so difficult , my e husband did that and it went on for ages. The only way you will have a life is to take control and remove his control! You need to find some inner strength and fight him , do not fall down , remain strong throughout , he will not save you or the children , he is doing the minimum so he looks good but look at it , is it for you or him?
When you deal with a man like that it unfortunately gets worse before better but stand firm do it properly and yes represent yourself , no judge will vote for a man who's got another partner and also considering leaving three children vulnerable . The reason I know this is because I was in exactly that position, I now own the family home( I took over the mortgage ) and I hv happy children , we have evolved into a happy bunch , he decided when he couldn't get his way he wouldn't see the children at all ! But we are ok, we all had counselling and we are alright , in fact very close and relieved he's gone x

Patchworkpatty · 17/02/2015 10:24

This isn't going to be plain sailing, I am presuming you are in the UK , and not married to your partner ? If this is the case then there is really not much for you to 'go to court' about. If your name is on the property as joint owwner then you can expect 50% when sold , or if you have contributed 50% to the purchase and can proove it, then maybe a court will award you an amount. Other than that, there is only child maintenance, which is not worked out through the courts . You seem to be thinking of this separation as a 'divorce' , which it isn't, he is under no obligation to respond to solicitors letters etc, this is the whole reason why having children without marriage is such a bad choice. Things are so different if married, such a a judge giving consideration to the children's housing. That would only come about a part of a divorce hearing. If I were you, I would get another solicitors opinion and make sure you don't run up legal bills that do not assist you in your quest.

Patchworkpatty · 17/02/2015 10:24

This isn't going to be plain sailing, I am presuming you are in the UK , and not married to your partner ? If this is the case then there is really not much for you to 'go to court' about. If your name is on the property as joint owwner then you can expect 50% when sold , or if you have contributed 50% to the purchase and can proove it, then maybe a court will award you an amount. Other than that, there is only child maintenance, which is not worked out through the courts . You seem to be thinking of this separation as a 'divorce' , which it isn't, he is under no obligation to respond to solicitors letters etc, this is the whole reason why having children without marriage is such a bad choice. Things are so different if married, such a a judge giving consideration to the children's housing. That would only come about a part of a divorce hearing. If I were you, I would get another solicitors opinion and make sure you don't run up legal bills that do not assist you in your quest.

EssexMatt · 20/12/2022 20:02

Love how this went from someone explaining a disagreement to domestic abuse! Normally the way when women and court are involved! You actually need to apply for a child arrangment order, put your children first not the house, walk away from it if you have to, women are so obsessed by money.

LemonTT · 20/12/2022 23:57

If you are in England You won’t get more than 50%. The best you can hope for is that you are allowed to live in the property for a longer period before it is sold. For this to happen you need to demonstrate this is the only housing option not your preferred housing option.

If you succeed you wIll be expected to pay the mortgage but he will retain a 50% interest. Meaning he gets 50% when you sell.

I can see why he isn’t responding. He is waiting for you to take him to court. There he will ask for it to be sold. If he can show you can find a home with the equity he will most likely get his request. You will have wasted a lot on solicitors.

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