Divorce - split of equity advice (also posted in legal matters)

[TiredAndConfused22]

Hi, my xh and I are negotiating on the financial settlement for our divorce, and he is offering to pay child maintenance at the rate set by the child maintenance service, plus enough additional 'spousal maintenance' to meet the gap between what I earn, cm and what I need (2 children at primary). Which is a relief.

BUT this only includes interest payments on the fairly large mortgage, rather than the full repayment amount. He has asked for 25% the equity, which he is willing to defer until kids leave school (or when I sell, cohabit, etc etc). Pension pot 50-50.

Does this sound fair? The context is that he is a very high earner, as is his new partner, whereas I work part time in a very low paid job so will not accrue much additional pension over the next 10 years or so until kids more independent. I don't really see how I can work full time, although I'd like to, as have no family support, he only has kids eow, and the after school club is full except for the 2 afternoons per week I already have. I didnt work for 5 years (joint decision), so find myself struggling in the job market since he left me (realised he was gay - about 10 years and 2 kids too late!). Therefore I dont want to sell me and the kids short. Should I be pressing for more?

Thanks in advance.

sounds very fair.

I mean for the equity split. The rest depends on how much he earns surely in relation to you but I do think it's also good for women to look for work on equal terms and child care sucks in the UK in general but once children are over 8 years old, gets much easier to be able to leave them unattended at home - where I live now it's normal still and all schools open till 6pm so women are very often equal or near equal in terms of earning potential here.

I could kill for a 25% equity, I earn less and mean cruel husband wants 60% to buy his "new family" a house worth twice what we own, lucky her (replace the her with w...e)

Why can't you go back to work and use a childminder instead of ASC until places are available?

Why can't you earn more so increase your pension pot for another TEN years?

The proposal sounds quite fair to me, potentially. Half of a high earner's pension pot could be pretty big. And 75% equity in the house too.

If you can't afford the repayment part of the mortgage, sell up now.

I do think you should be compensated for the joint decision to stop working. But you should be realistic about what you actually lost.

Why isn't he having the kids 2 nights a week? That would reduce childcare.

I rely don't see how you can write off TEN more years of working full time.

It sounds very fair to me. I got 75% of the equity in the house and no share of his pension, and I was in a similar situation to you. I'd grab it!

It sounds very fair to me. I got 75% of the equity in the house and no share of his pension, and I was in a similar situation to you. I'd grab it!

The equity is generous. Usual amount if it went to court would be between 60-40 and 70/30 split with the parent with kids living with them getting the largest share.

see if your lender is happy with you moving to interest only repayments, as there is a move against this from many lenders.

Cannot - are you really saying it is ok to leave a child 8 years old unattended at home whilst mum goes to work!!! No way would I do that!!! Can you imagine the press if something was to happen to your child during that period!!

75% equity sounds reasonable.
The additional money he is proposing to pay remember this can always be challenged and stopped by him. You would then have to go to court to get it reinstated. You would be better to argue for more equity and drop the spousal mtnce.

I'm getting 50% of the house and a third of his pension...plus £1100 a month until Sept when dd goes to uni.

How long were you married?

It sounds a lot to me!

20 years.

where did I say I'd leave an 8 year old child, I said once they over 8 years old, it gets easier and yes when they are older, they can be left at home for short periods. I never ever said "go to work and leave your 8 year old at home".

Yes I leave my 13 year old at home alone after school and briefly the 9 year old with her, not often and never for a whole day, I had to leave the 13 year old today to run to the pharmacy and she is too ill to come with me, well what choice do I get when dad buggered off on his mid life "female" persona crisis..... funnily enough though, I am being asked by my UK employer, UK government, to go work a long way from home for 16 hours a day and the director of this department says it's more than reasonable to expect me to do so, I told them where to go, but you'd be surprised to know who I work for.

Sounds very good.
I am also in the process of negotiations.
Mine is trying to force me to sell so he can take his equity now, and he is going for 50%.
Take it, avoid the legal hell, and move on with your life.

75%? I would have ripped his arm off for that.

Sounds like he's been fair. It's terrifying going back to work but it will probably do you good, especially if you don't have family near by. Work takes your mind of things and can raise your self esteem, help you meet new people and give extra cash to treat yourself and the dcs. Embrace the change!