1st hearing of Child arrangements order and now stbxh says he wants to be primary carer!

[bella1968]

stbxh has finally made a statement that he wants to be the primary carer and is slating me at every turn. He took his Mom to the hearing also and always has someone with him whilst everyone I know is working, I should feel the stronger one but I don't.

My concern is my children and the toll that this is taking on them, my daughter (11) is now researching depression on the internet and is saying she's never hungry and is always miserable. Her dad is always nasty about me to her and asks her what's going on at home. He then twists it so that he states that I'm the one doing this and I'm not! It's totally unfair.

Anyway the judge has ordered that he make an application stating that he should be the primary carer, a CAFCASS full report is ordered and the judge also said that with such high level of acrimony between parents the children suffer not just now but forever and that we are not far off the local authorities being brought in!

Gosh I hope that doesn't mean they are going to take the children away from us!?

I am really worried that he stands a chance of being the primary carer. He's been in and out of work for the 7-8 years whilst I've been in the same job, he's currently been out of work again since December and is "resting his head" at his Aunts and Uncles since June when I got an occupation order to have him removed.

He says I am the one being difficult and hostile when it's him that is the one that has been abusing me and previous to June the children also.

Although having said that he still insults me to them so this is abuse also.

I am so worried.

Don't worry about it too much, like there's often a cheaters script there is a similar one for going through the court system.
You have a stable life, regular job, home etc unfortunately a suprising amount of young people are affected by depression, support your DD as much as you can get the school/GP involved. Caffcas being involved will mean they talk to her and work out what is best for her. Keep evidence of everything, do as much as you can through text/email so you have written proof

Thanks singleandproud, I'm wondering if it is ok to record my daughter when we have our chats before bedtime. She is now saying she hates her father and doesn't want to see him more than an hour because she now remembers what he was like when he was at home and he continually insults me to her even when she plucks up the courage to tell him to stop he says no because you have to know what she's like and how nasty she is (meaning me)!

I wonder how long it will be before the appointment to go to the CAFCASS offices.