Trapped, married overseas (legal?), how to move out

[Dimplesandall]

Married overseas tho both British. Been living overseas so have no credit check to speak of. I had quite a lot of equity plus some inherited £ all put in jointly owned house. No assets in own name, no job currently as recently moved back to UK. 2 dc, school age. Desperately unhappy. Been so for years. Toxic atmosphere- i get too emotional/angry to get him to listen, he stonewalls and ignores. And blames me. Think i have to move out. Am masters qualified, loads of experienced but big gap from being overseas where cdnt work. Dh is high earner, can be a good man, good father in many ways but control freak and not good in the EQ department (he thinks he is). Believes firmly that our problems are my problems. As does his dear mama who thinks i should just grin and bear it and be grateful (despite up and leaving dh's father for not dissimilar reasons at my age!)

Feeling am v vulnerable and may be screwed as not married in uk/he nay pull a fast one on me. Am rambling, thoughts all a-jumble.

There is no substitute for independent legal advice from lawyer with knowledge of the law in the country were you live and the UK. If your marriage is legal in the county where you married it should be recognised in the UK. As long as you didn't intend to leave permanently you will be domiciled in the UK and eligible to divorce here.

In England & Wales any assets held in joint and sole names form the matrimonial pot to be shared. The court can make orders to transfer or sell property, for lump sum payments and for maintenance so that both parties re left living a similar standard to start independent lives. One problem is the courts in the UK have no jurisdiction over property or pensions held in other countries and depending on the particular circumstances it may be in your interest to start divorce proceedings in the country where you live if you are eligible to divorce there.

You should be aware that normally the courts the country where divorce is first started has jurisdiction over the divorce and finances. That means if you want to divorce and choose the jurisdiction you need to do it PDQ before your husband applies in the other country. If there are disagreements about arrangements for children the courts in the country where the children habitually live has jurisdiction and there is a possibility you won't be able to relocate them to another country.

You could post on the Legal forum and babybarrister or someone else may be able to recommend a family lawyer with experience of the country you are living in.

Thanks, to clarify, we're back in UK now, as of 6 months ago. Will check out legal board also.