I have been wanting to separate from my DH on and off for a few years but I have finally had enough and plucked up the courage. Although I have written a letter for him because I cannot bring myself to say the words, which sounds so pathetic. We have been married for 9.5 years, together for nearly 16 and we have a DD - 14 and DS - 8.
He is a difficult man and very unpredictable although has never been violent. He is moody, puts me and the kids down, nothing is ever done to his exacting standards, although he never does anything around the house.
I support us financially as he started his own business 4 years ago and hasn't really put much effort into getting it going. I earn good money and have paid for everything for 4 years, with the occasional small amount coming from him.
When we moved into our current house 11 years ago the deposit came from my house that I sold and some extra that was to pay off debts so we could afford the house. A month after we moved he got the sack and we had to use all the extra money to live off. And this has pretty much been the pattern for the last 11 years, he gets a job, pisses people off and gets the sack. So in the end without consulting me he decided he would be a self employed electrician.
He gets incredibly defensive when I try to talk to him about money, work, pretty much anything that requires him to give me answers about his plans for the future.
He shouts at the kids for stupid reasons and is generally hard to live with. My DD regularly tells me she hates him. It would seem that I have somehow managed to marry a man cut from the same cloth as my father and I don't want that for my DD. And I want my DS to grow up to be a caring, emotionally aware, open man.
So I have written the letter, it doesn't say any of the above because I didn't want it just to be about what an awful person he is because that would be a bad start to the end. I have said that I want him to move out and I will give him money to get a flat, although I think he will refuse to move out. I have said that if that is what he decides then we'll move out but I will leave him to pay for everything associated with the house, which will likely result in the house being repossessed.
I wrote the letter before Christmas but didn't want to do it over the 'festive' period and have decided to give it to him on Saturday 3rd Jan.
I told my two best friends and they both said that they have noticed how unhappy I have been over the last few months. I know he is unhappy as well but he won't take this well. He can be mean and I will become enemy no.1.
I just want to stop being unhappy, I'm not even thinking about being happy at this point. I feel sick all the time at the moment because I know what is coming and he is being nice at the moment which is making it worse, but I keep telling myself it won't last!
Sorry for the long ramble but I needed to get it out. I'll post an update when I've done it 